A lot, a little late

It’s OVER! I am
DONE with nursing school,
DONE with working for free,
DONE with living away from my family,
DONE with living in apartments and with other people!
DONE! DONE ! DONE!

Where to begin? The past two weeks (Seriously? Two weeks? I can’t believe I’ve gone two weeks without blogging. It’s like I actually utilized my time wisely. Glad that’s over.) have been a roller coaster. I’m not really sure how much detail to go into, out of sheer exhaustion and pure peace that it is all over.

To make a very long story short, I almost did not graduate. I passed both of my classes, but due to a technicality in the grading system I was told that even though my final grade was passing, I would fail one class and thus be unable to graduate. Me and two other people. I would have to come back in the fall and take the entire class and clinical over again. Don’t even ask, the whole thing makes no sense. The grading policy made no sense, the syllabus was not clear. A million things were wrong with this situation. I cried, no sobbed, for two days. I could not imagine going through this separation from Kevin and Avelyn again. I felt myself falling into a dark hole of depression and just could not imagine that this was really happening. It was awful. But I fought hard to make it right. Kevin fought hard, writing letters which thankfully I never had to send, and breaking it all down in an easy to argue argument. I took it to my advisor who fought hard for all of us – and we won! The grading policy was changed, our whole class graduated and IT IS ALL OVER!!!!!!!!!

Monday, May 4th: Take my first final. Get an 84 on it. Get an 86 final average in the class. On the way home I get a phone call that I FAILED THE CLASS BECAUSE OF ANOTHER AVERAGE (that I won’t bore you with here) AND WILL NOT GRADUATE. Have mini breakdown. Freak out. Sob. Wail. Sink into deep anxiety laden depression. Still have to go home and study for the final on Tuesday. Nice.

Tuesday, May 5th: Take second final (that I pass with an 80 and get an 86 in the class even in the middle of this “you will not graduate you big fatty loser” sh*t). Walk out of the classroom and am met with a giant fat crazy b*tch of a human being all up in my face asking if I passed because she heard I had failed. Thanks giant fat crazy b*tch. Thanks a lot for making my sh*tty last day of school even sh*ttier. Guess I’ll just creep out this side door and avoid saying (possibly my last) goodbye to all my friends so my giant puffy crying face doesn’t bring them down on what should be a great last day of class. Crazy b*tch, I hate you. Go make out with another ho ho.

Wednesday, May 6th: Phone is off so I sleep until after 10am. Well needed rest. Wake up to 13 missed calls and 4 voicemails. Call back the only person who could give me the news I want. It’s official! They all agreed the syllabus was unclear and changed the grading policy! We all graduate! I have used my Crap Community Health nurse lobbying lecture and lobbied for change! I GET TO FREAKING GRADUATE! Call my fantastic friends who had been fighting just as hard and are just as excited about the news. Have a fabulous lunch with Darci and go home to relax until the end of year party later that day. Go to end of year party later that day and have a FAB-FAB-FABULOUS time. Have several drinks and lots of good conversation. Pull into the driveway around 12am just as Kevin and Avelyn pull up. Great day.

Thursday, May 7th: Wake up with a totally worth it hangover. We attend my pinning ceremony, a nursing school tradition. Kevin pins me and Avelyn does not scream watches in the back row with my grandparents. Afterward we take a few pictures with some Hobo stalkers friends and my advisor, Dr. Yu, who fought hard for me to graduate. I owe her something big :)

Friday, May 8th: Kevin, Avelyn and I have lunch with my childhood best friend Shannon and her son Cooper AKA Avelyn’s boy toy. They were born twelve days apart. You may remember him from tandem spit up days or the freaking cutest Halloween costume duo ever.

[Giant brackets as I segway into an interesting tidbit that just popped into my head. At the end of our 4th grade year Shannon and I both liked a boy named Robert McKeon. He called me on the phone one day (OMG! A BOY called ME on the PHONE!!!!!!!!!) and told me he liked me too and asked if I wanted to go out with him, or whatever fourth grade boys in 1991 might have said. My fourth grade self reallllllllllllllly wanted to but I was afraid to hurt Shannon’s feelings so I told him I would have to call him back. I called Shannon to make sure it was okay. She said it was but I could tell at school the next week she was not cool with it. I think Robert McKeon and I might have held hands maybe once, then I moved to a different school for fifth grade and we “broke up”. Well, I guess we broke up. Shannon told me during fifth grade year that he was dating some other girl from the FOURTH grade. WHORE! What a skanky loser, that Robert McKeon. Dumping me for a FOURTH grader just because I moved schools, hmph! I went back that year for their talent show to see my friends and his new girlfriend sang “My Favorite Things” from the Sound of Music. I swear to you I hate that song to this day. Below is Robert, top row, 2nd from the left. I’m on the 2nd row, far right and Shannon is wearing that kickin’ visor and sitting next to some girl I clearly did not like as evidenced by her scratched out face.]

Back to reality. Friday night is graduation. Pretty uneventful except for you know, the whole being totally done with nursing school and GRADUATING thing. I should have got more pictures with my homies.

Avelyn behaves swimmingly if you consider graduation didn’t start until 7pm and she usually goes to bed around 8pm. When all is said and done we are OUT of here, and we hit the road for San Antonio. Pull in around 2am. Too tired to feel anything.

Saturday, May 9th: Woke up to an amazing sensation of being home when a really cute little girl toddled in to say hello. We moved the big stuff from storage to the new house and I mowed and edged the front yard while Avelyn napped. Don’t remember much after that. Must have spent the evening recovering from Houston hell.

Sunday, May 10th: For Mother’s Day Kevin gave me a fantastic card and Avelyn gave me some beautiful dish towels, a book so I can pretend she likes me to read to her, and a card with some flower seeds for us to plant in our new garden this fall. I gave her a pony tail. I was really happy with my gifts. She was not so happy with hers.

Monday, May 11th: Spent allllllll day painting Avelyn’s room pink. Due to an unfortunate incident involving Kevin using the crapper and me accidently walking in on him only to be shooed away I was not able to get a pair of painting shorts out of the closet and ruined one of my two pairs of jeans that fit. Yes, I could have gone back for the shorts after he finished but I was flustered and forgot. Note to self – don’t walk in on Hubby in the crapper. It will mess you up for days.

Uncle Pennybags arrives Monday afternoon. Unfortunately we are not yet ready to move into our house. Unless I don’t mind retarding Hobo’s brain with paint fumes, which I do. Oh – and I also come down with the WORSTCOLDEVERRRRRR.

Tuesday-Wednesday: Spend time organizing, setting up, cleaning the new house and feeling really, really crappy. Contemplate slicing my nose off to relieve pressure and push myself too hard to get everything done. It’s worth it. We spend Wednesday night in OUR house.

Thursday, May 14th: Our FIRST day to wake up in our new house. Avelyn spends time getting the hang of having her own cabinet and leaving the rest of mine alone. She can do whatever she wants with the stuff in her cabinet. I am looking forward to the day I open the door and find her sitting in it. You know it’s coming. You also know five thousand pictures will be taken.

Friday, May 15th: I have no recollection of this day. I will assume it was the day I was prepared to die from the WORSTCOLDEVERRRRRR.

Saturday, May 16th: The washer that came with the house broke the first time we used it, which was not unexpected but annoying none the less. We buy a washer on Saturday, our very FIRST major appliance purchase ever. It’s really lame how excited I am about it. To celebrate this milestone we also buy Guitar Hero World Tour as a mutual Kevin/Jennifer belated birthday present to each other. Uncle Pennybags and Avelyn shared a paci high five to show their approval of this decision.

Sunday, May 17th: We drive to Rudy’s for the Worst Barbeque in Texas. It’s realllllly good. We drive back home and break out the monster bubble machine while Pennybags and Kevin rock the World Tour. The monster bubble machine is supposed to make bubbles. Big bubbles. Big bubbles with little bubbles inside them. It works on a sliding scale I think. When it works it’s really cool. And Avelyn looks amazingly beautiful. No surprise here.

Monday, May 18th: Called the store back about getting a delivery date for the washer I’m so excited about since the computers were down over the weekend and they couldn’t schedule a date. Was told the computer says it’s scheduled for delivery June 8th. JUNE 8th. Like THREE weeks away JUNE 8th. This is not acceptable. Grrrrr.

Dropped Avelyn off at school. She is being transitioned from the blue (infant) room to the orange (1-2’s) room this week. One of the many bittersweet moments I am getting used to. I’m so excited for her and all the things she has learned. I love her teachers and they have loved her and I hate she will have to leave them but I’m so excited for all that she will learn in the next room. They have dance class day and karate day and play outside… she is going to have so many fun experiences.

The house is coming together. We have a lot of space to fill, so many empty walls, a lonely dining room that holds six new chairs and one old ugly table begging to be refinished. I think I’m going to go buy Avelyn a swing to hang in the tree in the backyard. It’s shaded and she loves to swing so much. That should be nice.

I scheduled my test date for the NCLEX this morning. Thursday, June 4 at 12:15 I will be sitting down to start a 4 hour exam that will allow me to become Jennifer Welch, BSN, RN… hopefully. Guess I better get to studying this week.

Dropped Pennybags off at the airport. His sister-in-law has been diagnosed with cancer and had a biopsy today. She is pregnant with their second baby. Please pray for their family.

Picked Avelyn up from school and had a fantastic time chasing her around the house. She is getting so big and is so fast! Had dinner with Kevin’s parents at Luby’s where I gave Avelyn mashed potatoes for the third time. She finally decided they were tasty. Smart girl. Oh, and she is THIRTEEN months old today!

So that’s (briefly) what’s been going on around here. My Google Reader was so full when I finally checked in with you guys. Guess I better get back to reading what YOU’VE been up to!

Movin’ on up

Oh my, what a week.  I’m feeling whelmed in both the good and bad sense of the word.  Did you know we found a house to rent in San Antonio?  Well, we found a house to rent in San Antonio!  It’s wonderful, huge, in a great GATED neighborhood.  It has a backyard, an Avelyn room, a Mom and Dad room, a guest room (this term used loosely since we have no extra mattress and I’m not a huge fan of house guests), a playroom (or dining room), an office, a big kitchen, a huge pantry, a 2 car garage, 2 bathrooms, a washer, dryer and lawn mower, a HUGE master closet, dozens of other closets, a covered patio, a fireplace… I’m leaving something important out.  Oh, it doesn’t have an entryway.  It has a “gallery”.  That’s what it’s called on the floor plan, a gallery.  Don’t that soun’ all sofistikated y’all?  “Oh Visitor Friend!  SO nice of you to stop by!  Won’t you please make your way through the GALLERY and join me on the settee in the parlour.”  Adding the ‘u’ to a word really makes it sparkle.  It’s like living in some exotic land like Wales or Canada. 

So that’s the first piece of good news.  The second is I PASSED THE HESI!  I didn’t blow it out of the water but I scored above what I needed to score to pass and am now eligible to graduate.  Whew!  What a load off.  Of course there are still papers to write, exams to pass, clinicals to finish, asses to kiss…  Also the fact that I never ordered my graduation “regalia” (who comes up with these words!?) because a) I forgot and then b) I didn’t want to on principle.  Why should I pay that much money for something I will wear for 2 hours?  Why don’t you have a rental plan???  Sigh.  I’m thisclose to purchasing another one online and hoping it won’t stand out to much.  Although even if it does I’m toying with the idea of waltzing across the stage, grabbing my diploma and then doing the Michael Jackson crotch pull while yelling at the top of my lungs “Suck it SON!  I bought this here regalia for a third of what you paid.  Shut yo’ FACE!”  Still haven’t decided, too much maybe?

Oy.  The bad part about graduation is it’s elevated level of importance.  I don’t like the attention a graduation ceremony entails.  I am not an attention whore. I  don’t get turned on or revved up by people fawning over me or my accomplishments, droning on and on, asking question after question, giving me gifts I didn’t want or ask for… I don’t need any of that.  I need Kevin and Avelyn to be there.  That’s pretty much it although I would like for our parents and my grandparents and my brother or sister if they wanted to come.  (That’s right Stephanie, because I have been too busy to call or write but since I know you read this blog even though you NEVER COMMENT YOU BAD BLOG READER! You should know you are invited to come if you want to.)  We’re planning on early dinner, graduation and HOME since Hobo needs her beauty rest.

And that’s it, just those people mentioned above.  Nobody else.  Nobody.  I wonder if that’s too subtle.  And no I will not remove this statement because if you will recall an earlier post from a mere two weeks ago (just two weeks!?) this is my blog and I can say whatever I want on my blog.  Even though out of respect for my husband and THE REST OF MY MARRIED LIFE I usually don’t.  See, I’m not even saying it now.  Anyway, if you will recall:

“…My therapist and friendapist both said the same thing – I should quit feeling guilty about my FEELINGS.  They’re MY feelings and it’s how I FEEL so I am allowed to FEEL this way dammit.”

Well, my FEELINGS are feeling like they don’t want anyone else to ruin MY day.  So I get to set the rules.  (Please stay tuned for the post-graduation post where I will proceed to angrily relive the inevitable breaking of these rules in order to keep family peace.  Because clearly my feelings do not matter much of the time.)

A very dramatic ANYWAY… Tonight I sit here thinking how freaking scared I am to graduate from nursing school with the implication I somehow know what to do to take care of people.  I mean I just spent two years in nursing school, shouldn’t I know more about how to nurse?!  (Hmm, note to Self: Look into whether being unable to successfully nurse your first born child is related to being unable to be a good nurse.  Kidding, Self.  Get a sense of humor already.)  Out of the 160 questions on the HESI I must have stared dumbfounded at 155 of them wondering in what universe I was supposed to have been taught this.  Whaaaaaa?  H-E-A-R-T?  What is a heart?  Do I have it?  Am I coming down with ‘heart’? IS THERE A CURE?  AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!  Oh wait, that heart?

I am leaving for San Antonio first thing after Community Hellth clinical tomorrow.  We are getting Avelyn’s first birthday pictures and our first family pictures on Saturday.  We’re just going to the cruddy ol’ portrait studio for now because we don’t have the money to get the kind of pictures I want but we will do it sometime this year.  Hopefully we will have good weather and can get out of the house and have a family day at the park or something.  That reminds me, I can’t wait for April 15th when our lease starts and we can start the slow move in.  Do you understand the significance of this move?  Do you?  It means a house, not an apartment that shares walls with noisy neighbors.  It means living together, just the three of us for the FIRST time in twenty one months.  It means walking around in our underwear if we want to, just because.  It means freedom, independence, the ability to raise my daughter without being questioned and lectured about every cough, sneeze, out of place hair follicle, no matter how well meaning it may be.  It means not having to watch Fox News, heck not having the TV on 56 hours a day, being able to wake up at 7:30am with my baby and spend time alone with her, just me and her.  Above all it means all the mistakes, decisions, sacrifices and prayers have been worth it and we can start being the family I want us to be.

Highlights/Lowlights

Whew.  This week has been a whirlwind.  I want to tell you about all the wild and crazy fun family things we did this week but we didn’t really do any of those.  We did have some regular fun family things we did a lot of.  Like playing on the floor, going out to eat, [window] shopping, me getting a job, making practice birthday cakes.  Oh yeah, I’ve been DEAD TO BLOGGING this week but ta da!

I GOT A JOB!

My interview on Monday went really well (clearly).  The Nurse Manager I interviewed with told me he had a few more candidates to talk to but that I sounded like I had all the qualities he was looking for and I really impressed him during the interview.  I was all, Uh duh Dude, but I bet you say that to all the interviewees and he was all, no way man, you totally rocked it so then I was like yeah, I know, I am FREAKING BAD ASS and he was like yeah, yeah you are.  Then he said HR would be contacting me in the coming weeks.  Exactly 3 hours and 21 minutes after I left the building HR called and told me the job was mine.  IN YO’ FACE all you other [alleged] interviewees!

So I’m supposed to wait for the head HR lady to call me on Monday with all the details.  I need to find out what the deadline to accept is, since I am still hoping to hear from a few more hospitals.  I would like to have a few offers and be able to choose the best one for me but honestly, all I wanted was ONE and I got it.  I think I would really love working in the Pedi ER and I would get to see a lot of stuff I might not see elsewhere.  I’m a little proud of myself so I’ll go ahead and say it,

GO ME!

We were supposed to go to the zoo with some friends on Wednesday but wouldn’t you know we got rained/winded/COLLLLLDED out.  What the hell Weather?  Every freaking year, huh?  Well at least you’re consistent.  The rest of our week went nice and slow and perfect but somehow it’s turned into Saturday and I don’t like it one bit.  Booooooo urns. 

Yesterday we took advantage of my cousin’s loaner house key and hung out at her place while she was out of town.  We needed to get out of the house.  Unfortunately it was 61 degrees inside since she was gone and we nearly froze our patooties off --- until we discovered the heart pounding, sweat inducing Holy Grail of my kind of video games AKA Guitar Hero.

Why had I never played this before?  Why am I always the last to come around and finally try something everyone else has been raving about and playing for years?  Sweet Mary’s Little Lamb that game is fun and might I most humbly say

I. AM. AWESOME. AT. IT.

No, really I am.  I kicked Weezer’s “My Name Is Jonas” ass and have a burning desire to play this game continuously until I hold top rank on every song on the playlist.  Granted we started on Easy level but if memory serves I did outplay Kevin pretty consistently.  He did better on a few songs but I think I totally rule overall.  (Dear Hubby, I so rarely win at anything please let me continue to believe this even if it is a totally false memory.  Thank you.)

A few of you on Facebook have already let me know that Rock Band should be played next and bought soon and very soon because, uh, it rocks.  I am looking forward to it.

Since I’ve been MIA for a while and I like to believe a few of you obsessively check the site bi-hourly for updates I thought I would pay you back with a Super Hobo fix and provide a teeniny glimpse of our week.

  

 

55 days to Momma’s graduation! 

(HOLY FREAKING COW!)

Oi with the poodles already!

Currently I am watching my daughter cry on the daycare WebCam. It might be funny if it weren't my child but since it is it's just sad. Of course, being a first time-first week daycare Mom I called to make sure she was okay and find out just how long she'd been crying. The answer -- ALL DAY. Apparently she will play on the floor for five minutes at a time and then cry for somebody to hold her. The teachers have been really patient and loving and I've seen them take turns walking her in the hall, rocking in a chair, sitting in their laps which makes me feel a lot better. Her whole world has turned upside down this week and I know she is just getting used to the place. In a week or two she will be just fine.

Oh yeah, I was just reminded by my poltergeist to tell you there is a poltergeist in my house. He's kind of lame but clearly has some message to get across.

Anyway, I love this WebCam. I don't know how these women do it, 12 hours a day keeping all those babies busy. They are simultaneously feeding with the hands, rocking with a foot, singing to the rest of the group...very impressive. I am so thankful we've found a place that so far exceeds my expectations of what a daycare is.

• • • • • •

I have to apologize for my lack of pizazzy posts recently. For some reason I have just been writing the most boring and dumpy posts. Not feeling too creative these days I guess. My baby moved away, I'm way behind on work and I'm packing up the apartment to move at the end of the month. Ugh. I HATE packing. Luckily I kept all the boxes from the last move and it's moving along speedily. [Update: I'm moving to live with my grandparents for the rest of the semester. We decided since Avelyn's daycare is about as much as our rent was costing, we would cut our losses and get out of this place. We could barely afford to live here, why stay in this dump by myself? Plus all of the troubles we've had with this place have put me over the edge. Grrr.]

I still haven't heard from my High Acuity L&D preceptor. Her mother died a week ago and I haven't wanted to bother her about getting to work but I really need to get started. I guess I'll try to call tomorrow. Today my brain and body are zapped from the looooooong day of Community Health clinical. Who knew sitting in a room for hours on end discussing our plan to make fat people that like to eat thin could make you want to go home and gorge yourself on strawberry cupcakes? I knew. And I did it anyway. Way to set an example, Momma.

You know, it just crossed my mind that maybe all the funny left the house with Avelyn. I haven't written one humorous thing since we decided to move her. Could it be that the source of my hilarity lies in my uterus? That the connection my uterus felt to Avelyn is no longer available with her 205 miles away? What would that mean for my future? When she moves away for college will I turn into a sad, frumpy lump of not-funny woman? I mean I guess if I have more kids the funny will come back but for how long? These are things that I waste my time thinking about. It's a wonder I never get anything done.

Here's your daily Hobo.

PS - don't ask to see the WebCam. You're not gettin' it.

91 days to Momma's graduation!

[Can I skip the Back] to the Future?

It's looking like Avelyn might be going to live with Kevin during the week.  I have mixed feelings about this.  Jennifer thinks yes, this is the best decision for all of us.  The childcare facility she would attend is better, cheaper, constant and faith based.  I will get more work done and be able to focus on school, something I cannot do now.   

The Momma in me thinks NO!  Don't take my baby from me!  You donated some sperm but I did all the hard work, she's miiiiiiiine!  I will most definitely die a painful agonizing death if she is removed from my immediate vicinity!

I don't know what to think.  If it happens (and we'll know by end of this week) I will probably flip flop back and forth each day she is gone from being a productive, busy student to a woe-be-gone forlorn mess of Kleenex and snot.  I will probably sink into a great depression, the depths of which have only been portrayed on All My Children or One Life to Live.  Maybe I'll even develop D.I.D. or confront my evil twin (who is totally hot, in shape and sexy).  

Of course, I'll also have time to attend class and read my assignments before 9 pm at night.  Heck, I might even learn something that will one day be used to, you know, nurse people back to health.

So maybe it wouldn't be so bad.  Right?

And it would only be until I graduate (May 8, 2009 at 7:00 pm... send money).  

I just can't imagine not waking up to this face, or this face, or this face. Every. Single. Day.

Dear Self

Dear Self,

You are less than 4 months away from graduating with your BSN.  Stop being a punk and get your butt in gear.  Remember your goals.

You'll be a real A-hole if you slack off now.

Love,

Self

PS-your kid is crying so your break is over.  Toodles!

Hodgypodgy puddin' and pie

Congratulations to my friend Autumn on the birth of her second baby boy!  After laboring for days, literally, Logan finally made his appearance this afternoon.  I can't wait to meet him tomorrow!

I still haven't got much school work done this week.  There is so much to do this last semester that I can't imagine how I will get it all done.  I missed class Tuesday because my Grandparents went on a cruise with some family and I had no one to watch Avelyn.  Ohhh bummer, had to stay home with my child instead of sitting in a chair listening to a most boring lecture while my butt melted into the seat.  Dragged Avelyn up to school around 3:30 so I could attend an orientation to my High Acuity clinical this semester.  I am so excited for clinical because I got my first choice - labor and delivery at the hospital where I delivered Avelyn a mere nine months ago.  Weird.  I should start sometime next week.  The 12-hour shifts won't be much fun but at least I got a day shift instead of nights.  7am to 7pm will be hard but 7pm to 7am would be impossible with a baby.

We came to San Antonio Thursday after her nine month checkup.  29-1/2 inches and 25 lb 8 oz!  97th percentile in both categories again!  Go Baby Girl!  She didn't need any shots this time but did have her blood drawn to rule out any blood disorders.  I swear a part of her remembered that chair from her early days of daily blood draws because as soon as we walked in the lab room and sat down she went totally silent and got a very serious look on her face.  I was all set for Wail of the Abused Baby but ta da!  No tears!  Nada.  The tech gave her a tongue depressor which she gnawed on throughout the toe prick and squeezing of the blood.  Go Baby Girl GO!  I was so proud.  I really love our pediatrician and I hate the thought of finding a new one in June.  Booooooo.

The real downer of the week came yesterday afternoon while I was shopping at Target.  Before I get to that I should tell you - I was at Target alone.  All by myself.  No baby to watch and make sure she doesn't mouth the shopping cart handlebar.  No husband to scold for paying more attention to his iPhone than to our shopping.  Me, myself and I.  I love spending all my time with Avelyn, love it, but every once in a blue moon when she goes down for a nap and I can get Kevin to stay home while I run out I really enjoy the time to myself.  Anyway, I was at Target and the phone rang.  It was my grandma, who is supposed to be on vacation in very exotic locations south of the U.S.  She fell and broke her knee on the way to the Mayan Ruins and was flying back to Houston for surgery.  She tells me all of this and then says, "Well I wanted to make sure you had plenty of time to find another sitter because I know you didn't have anyone."  Yes Grandma, you are injured, in a full leg stabilizer, on your way back to Texas for orthopedic surgery.  Please, worry about me finding a babysitter.  Pssh.  

They think she chipped her left patella and injured her right arm but I guess they have to wait until her orthopedist appointment on Monday to know the extent of the damage.  Of course I'm disappointed I will have to find new childcare arrangements because there is no one else I would rather leave her with but I am far more worried about her health.  Please pray for my Grandma.

This is kind of a hodgepodge post so I apologize for it's lack of jazz.  It's been a long day and I had my favorite beer at dinner.  I know, I'm a wild child.  I don't drink much at all anymore so it made me very mellow and sleepy and thusly, not very witty.  I know my 2.4 devoted fans have come to expect such a high caliber of writing that I would hate to think you might not visit me anymore.  Seriously, this blog has turned out to be such a great outlet so please, keep visiting me.  And commenting.  I looooooooove comments.  I liiiiiiiive for comments.  I would make out with comments if they brought me money and flowers.  Well, I would at least hold hands.

Race is on

Well, the beautiful peace of school break is over. Tomorrow is my first day of, get ready, my LAST semester of nursing school! Can I get a Woot! Woot! I can't believe how fast the past few years have flown by.

Three years ago this month I was living in Jersey City, NJ sending resumes to every company in New York with a job description that may or may not be describing me. I had worked a total of two whole days in the previous five months and that was freelance, emphasis on the free. Somewhere in the next month I would find myself sitting in an interview for a job completely unrelated to my field (that I was really more interested in than anything in my field) realizing I hated design, I missed the medical field and I was unhappy. It would take another few days of tossing and turning, late night list and chart making to come to a conclusion that would change my and Kevin's future - I wanted to back to school. Gasp! I wanted to go back to nursing school.

It really was a crazy idea when I look back at everything and I am so grateful Kevin did not second guess my decision. He did make sure I knew what I was doing but after he realized how serious I was he supported me completely.

Now here I am three years later, about to graduate and move back to San Antonio to start my career (yikes!) and make the life for myself and my family that I've always wanted. How exciting.

I am so grateful for the friends I've made in Houston, the relationship Avelyn is getting to experience with her great-grandparents and all of the support from friends and family. It is not always easy, but I know in the end it will always be worth it. I am embarking on a career that I love, pursuing an area of nursing I am passionate about and am excited about all the doors I am opening for myself and my daughter.

Please pray for me this semester that I can focus and finish this degree and be proud of the effort I've put in. This will be a big year for all of us, full of change. My baby will be ONE YEAR OLD in April! I will graduate with a BSN in May. Earn my RN soon after. Get a JOB and move back to live with my HUSBAND. We will be a 24/7 FAMILY again! Well, until Kevin goes to Chicago for seven weeks again in the summer :) I'm getting the feeling we will be just fine...

Just breathe

I think I might just take a hiatus for a while. School is ending and I am overloaded with studying, remembering, caring and failing or rather, not failing. Also I'm starting to feel really down and I just need a break from everything. The Christmas season is my favorite time of year but the stress and anxiety that come with holidays and end of year are piling up by the minute. On top of that Kevin wants to take Avelyn to San Antonio today so I can study more over the weekend. I don't want him to. I started crying for the first time since I started Prozac when he said that. I don't want to be away from her. I apologize to the two people who read this blog. See you soon.

Based on true events

I passed my pedi test today, a test I should have probably failed! If not for wonderful savior friend C I would have had scant to go on. She saved my butt. Now I only need a 58 on the final to pass the class with a 75 but since we all know how incredibly brilliant I secretly am I should be able to pass with a B. Here's hopin'.

In other news, I am officially tired of having pets. Is that awful to say? Oh well, it's my blog so I can say it. It's not that I really love them less now that I have a real baby, but I do love them differently. I want to spend so much time with Avelyn, and I'm so focused on her or keeping myself sane that I just tire of the animals very easily. I'm tired of Etta having to sleep on the bed because she'll pee and poop on the floor if left unattended. I'm tired of her jumping down at 3am every night and doing just that. I'm tired of stepping in pee, picking up poop on the stairs, timing when she eats so she can have her medicine on schedule, shoving the handful of pills down her throat 20 times until she swallows them, listening to her whine because the meds make her want to eat all damn day. Ugh. I know how awful this sounds. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's better and she's still my dog but man, having Avelyn really put it into perspective for me. Am I the only terrible pet owner out there? In the past I might have been insulted had someone uttered the words, "It's just a dog" but now... well, she's just a dog. I love her, she is sweet and she's mine and I'll be sad when she goes one day but do I tear up and have a panic attack thinking about my life without her? No. Am I the only woman who went from doting on a cute puppy and an evil cat to wishing they would go live with Kevin in San Antonio so I didn't have to constantly clean up after them, yell at them to get off the baby's blanket and not to lick her mouth? Honestly I just don't have the time. Not that I have a full plate or anything... it feels good to get that load off.

Today at school a few of us old married ladies (and one super cute soon to be married lady) sat around and had a grand time commiserating the stupidity of husbands. It was just what the doctor ordered. Sometimes I think we women just need to hear that we're not alone, that 99% of other wives are living with an oaf too. (Love you, Babe, remember that). Here is a rundown of the top list of complaints, in no particular order:

Dear Husband,

• You're not 4 and I ain't your Momma, so instead of throwing them on the floor for me to find, seethe about and eventually pick up while cursing your name, why don't you put your own dirty clothes in the basket when you take them off.
• The dishwasher is 6 inches away from the sink. That's where dirty dishes go.
• You know when I said, "okay I have to study so please don't distract me"? I MEANT IT! SHUT UP! Think of me studying as you watching football, only important.
• Yes, you are right. The floor will just get dirty again but it has to be cleaned and newsflash - I got the vacuum in black and the Swiffer in green so it's manly enough for you to use it. Also, when we have/since we have small ones it has to be cleaned every day because small ones roll/crawl/pick up everything on the floor so let's not give 'em anything to pick up.
• Uh, unless I sleepshave those little hairs all over the bathroom counter are yours and while we're at it is it too much to ask that you wipe the water off the counter so I don't get that sopping horizontal line across my crotch?
• I have been working for the last twelve hours at the hospital. I started before the sun came up and left after it went down. I only get a 30 minute lunch break and my sandwich was soggy from the fridge. My feet look like hooves. Did you seriously just ask me what we're having for dinner?
  
• Oh yeah and just so you know, at the end of the day when you start breathing down my neck and feeling me up and I say "I'm just really tired" it literally means "I'm (in no way JUST) really tired". It can also mean "I've been felt up by kids all day and need some 'nobody touch me' time" or "I recently pushed a baby out of there and now I don't know where anything is anymore" or it could mean "I'll sleep with you when you throw your own underwear in the wash, do the dishes, turn off the TV when I need you to, pick up and sweep the floor, wipe down all the counters and cook us dinner. All on your own. Without me asking or telling. Or congratulating you. I do it day in and day out without accolade so I know it's not an insane request.
  

I would just like to follow with this notice:

This is not MY list, it is a compilation. It is not about MY husband, it is about the husband collective. This post may pertain to you or someone you know but is in no way directed toward any specific person.

Ladies, care to comment? Or gentlemen, I believe in free speech and equality.

For the ladies who know who they are...

[JAR: Today in JAR Jennifer got a 100 on her pedi test. When the "100! You are AWESOME" popped up on the screen confetti and balloons fell from the ceiling and a mariachi band played. She was carried out on a chair, high in the air while the crowd sang "For she's a jolly good fella..." Afterward it was announced on loud speaker that OB was canceled for the rest of the semester and in it's place would be margarita happy hour every week from 1-4pm. As if that wasn't enough it would also be all you can eat guacamole and hot pretzels! And chocolate ice cream! And Laffy Taffy... oops I digress. After indulging herself Jennifer returned home to find Avelyn sitting in the middle of the floor reading Dostoevsky and demanding tea and crumpets. She smiled, closed the door and hugged her 96 pound baby.]

Lucky #7

I had OB clinical today.  It was supposed to be from 6:30am-6:30pm.  We all hoped to get out early because we have a killer pedi test tomorrow.  It was pretty clear from our instructor that was not going to happen.  But Fate had other plans and blessed us with a power outage at her son's school that required all parents to retrieve their children immediately.  

Fate, you are my hero.  (Except for the fact that we all found out about this early release AFTER we ate yucky hospital food for lunch).  Oh well.

I got to visit Etta James at the hospital again and she looks GREAT!  The blood transfusion Sunday night seems to be working.  The steroids have kicked in and her body has slowed down attacking her red blood cells.  She is really jaundice and yellow from the bilirubin caused by the broken down RBC and reminds me a little bit of a bumble bee with her black fur.  She jumped up and licked my face and hands when I opened her cage.  I even got her to eat some baby food off my fingers.  The vet said she may be able to go home tomorrow.  She's on some chemotherapy drugs and steroids so we will have to be very careful with them with Thumpy and our soon-to-be-mobile almost-six-month-old baby girl.

I am so looking forward to bringing my furry baby home!

Duh

Sooooooooo....  Apparently wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' for that Learn While You Sleep! machine didn't pan out.  I'm feeling pretty bummed about that stupid test.  And when I use the word 'stupid' I am referring to the test-taker.  Ugh.

I should have done better.  I should have studied more.  Shoulda, woulda, coulda, I suck.  Kevin made me feel better about it when he put everything in perspective and he was right.  Hurricane Ike took us out of school and off schedule for over a week.  I started two 12-hour clinicals which take up 3-4 days when you factor in the prep work and typing up reports (which I still have yet to do).  Avelyn was sick and Kevin was out of town this weekend.  Aside from becoming a coffee and speed freak and never sleeping I don't know when I would have found the time to get it all done, it just wasn't feasible.  Thanks, hubby.  I vow to do better on the next one.

My mom is thinking of coming into town Monday through Wednesday which would be really helpful and serve two purposes: 1) I would get to study for my test next Wednesday without feeling 100% guilty about not being home (95% guilt would be a vast improvement) and 2) she would get to see Avelyn whom she hasn't seen since April.  I'm sure I will be a tired, stressed out wreck and Avelyn (queen of timing) will decide to throw a crying fit all week and the Franco-Swiss particle accelerator will finally work and the world will implode but hopefully it will all work out.  I want to do really well this semester but when it comes down to it, all I need to do is pass.  

Say it with me people, "Just pass the class.  Just pass the class.  (And hopefully retain a little) but just pass the class."

[JAR: Today in JAR Jennifer had a terrible nightmare that she was in nursing school and had done poorly on a test.  Luckily it was all a dream.  Even more lucky, no one remembers bad dreams in JAR so Jennifer and her baby slept in and when they awoke, a crisp Autumn breeze was blowing in the open window.  They spent the morning going for a walk in the park and having a grand conversation that went a little like this, "Oh Avelyn, isn't it a beautiful day outside?"  "Oy goy oh mo phlbb!"  "I know!  I am so happy we decided to sleep in too!  Aren't you glad we are independently wealthy so Momma doesn't have to work and we can spend all day together?"  "Ah! Ah! Ohhhhhh!"  followed by a big toothless grin and slobber smooch.]

Like, before I'm dead.

I'm taking a break.  A break from studying.  It is 2:29am, my brain is dead and my eyes are heavvvvvvy.  All I want to do is snooze.  

After nodding off more than once around 10:45pm I decided to push the computer aside for a while and take a little power nap to rejuvenate for the long haul and didn't wake up until 1:30.  So now, 61 minutes later, I am finishing up skimming all my notes for my test tomorrow.  By finishing up I mean I have 18-1/2 power points to look over.  I'm not completely unfamiliar with the material but I'm definitely not familiar enough with it to remember a dang thing.  With Avelyn not feeling well last week and having clinical obligations yesterday and today I just didn't get as much done beforehand as I wanted.  You don't even have to say it because I know, "Welcome to nursing school.  Welcome to parenthood.  Idiot."

It is late, I am tired, I miss Kevin and I want to sleep next to Baby Girl.  Whoever said "sleep when you're dead" better watch out because I'm on the warpath and I'm carrying a big paddle with his name on it.

[JAR: Jennifer is not typing this stupid blog that is probably boring you to tears.  She is sleeeeeping soundly in the next room in a giant comfy bed with a big fat pillow.  Much to her amazement "they" developed a Learn While You Sleep! machine over the weekend that integrates the information she needs and transfers it to her brain via energy waves while she catches some zzz's.  "That's insane," you are saying, "such a machine surely does not exist!"  Luckily in JAR Jennifer gets whatever she wants.  Suck it.]

Who says they're sweet?

My poor little baby is still sick with a cold. It's one of Those Mean Nasty Dirty Downright Disgusting But Invisible Germs (shoutout to my HP group!) and she is not having a fun time. She feels awful which makes me feel terrible that I can't do anything about it.

She is slowly getting used to the thicker formula since I added cereal to it this week. It definitely seems to help prevent reflux but towards the end of the day it seems inevitable. The doctor doubled her Rx for reflux meds on Monday and when I went to pick it up today the pharmacy told me that our insurance only covers 30 pills every 30 days so I couldn't get enough to fill a twice a day regimen. Although if I wanted to I could pay for the extra 30 pills out of pocket at a mere $162. If I haven't said it here before I'll say it now - I FREAKING HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES!?#$&!(>$@

It must be me with the problem. Clearly I must be crazy to think that our doctor knows better than the voice on the end of the phone who probably received a two week training course in how to look up codes and canned responses in a manual. I must be a complete idiot since I still refuse to accept that they have the legal right to supersede a doctor's orders on how to treat a living, breathing patient. Man, I must be a real a-hole. I think of all the children out there with real problems, not just a stinking cold and bad reflux, but real health crises that can't get their medication or the treatment they need because of some idiot in a suit that controls what they can and cannot receive. I think of little babies so tiny and sick and no one can figure out what the heck is wrong with them and everyone keeps giving their parents the run around because they don't know what else to do. Makes me red in the face, can you tell???

Sigh. Another reason to keep me going in nursing school. Every day that I am in clinical I see at least one thing that reminds me, okay this is why I'm here. It might be good or bad but I always leave with one lasting impression that helps me get through the next week of hell you people might call nursing school. Insiders know that it is actually the devil's playground where evilness lurks and your soul is slowly sucked away. You've really got to love it to do it so please don't waste your time if you really don't want to clean up blood, guts and poop for a living.

Okay it's not that bad. Close, but most days not that bad. For example, Tuesday I had my first OB clinical and it was amazing. Before I delve too deeply I should preface by saying I went into this knowing exactly what to expect. I mean, having birthed my own child I am clearly an expert. I witnessed Avelyn's birth from beginning to end. Felt every pain, every muscle, every cramp and then watched in the mirror, first in awe and then in horror, as that beautiful little baby came tearing out of my body like a pack of wild dogs was chasing her. I watched as Kevin changed from a funny, stoic holder of the left leg to a disgusted and scared little man who was staring intently at my face in a way that very clearly stated "I am begging you, please don't ask me to look down there again. Please, please, please for the love of God I don't want to see/smell/hear or feel what is happening to you. Please." I kept asking him but by that time I was high on Fentanyl and O2 so I was having an uproarious time pushing out that little body ruiner. (Drugs. Are. Good.)

Anyway, on to Tuesday. It was so cool. First thing upon arriving the nurse said Room X was "Complete, complete, complete. She is ready to have that baby." I was off. I stood outside the room reviewing the chart while her nurse finished admitting a woman in the room next door. Before I knew it I hear a very strained "Senorita, por favor." I walk in and here is a 4'11" woman doubled over beside the bed asking for help to el bano. My three years of high school Spanish allowed me to quickly and effectively respond, "Okay, um, hold on while I get the nurse" in perfect English.

I got the nurse who rushed in and in very good Spanish told her to get back on the bed and use a bedpan. She did get on the bed but never used the bedpan. First thing about labor to know is that when a woman starts telling you she has to go to the bathroom -- the baby is COMING OUT. I held some legs, watched some oozing and then plastered myself to the wall when the delivery team came rushing in. That kid was out within my first 30 minutes of the day.

The rest of the day just got better, in between the boredom of waiting of course. I got to scrub in and assist with a Cesarean, which will probably only seem super duper cool to other nursing students who understand how rare and awesome that is. After lunch it slowed down a bit and it looked like no one would be delivering before we left at 6:30. Oh ye of little faith. Second important thing to remember about L&D -- things change quickly.

All of a sudden the hall is flooded with nurses, doctors and two fellow students, one of which is getting her arm ripped off by a screaming patient on a stretcher. Everyone is yelling something different.

"¡Necesito a mi marido!"
"Get out of the way!"
"¡Necesito a mi marido!"
"Clear the room!"
"¡NECESITO A MI MARIDO!"

I jumped into gear, determined to do something of consequence. I start yelling at my friend "What's her husbands name? What is her name? Last name?" She is trying desperately to figure it out with even less Spanish than I have. We finally got enough to go on and I started running down the hall. When I finally spotted two guys standing in a doorway I shouted what I hoped was his name. After conveying to him with my shouting and running that he needed to HURRY UP BECAUSE HIS BABY WAS GOING TO COME OUT IN THE HALLWAY we ran into the room just in time for him to rush over by her side as the baby came flying out. Literally. The doctor almost dropped it in the goop bag but thankfully did not.

It was a very exciting end to a very fun day. I really think I may end up choosing L&D as my specialty. I had such a wonderful pregnancy and delivery experience (minus the recovery part) and I would love to be involved in that experience helping other women. The human body truly is a most amazing miracle.

Back to my baby girl, I tried giving her foods for the first time this week. We started with sweet potatoes. She looked SO DANG CUTE sitting up straight in her high chair and was really excited to be sitting eye level, by herself like we do. Here are a few photos of this first, may it brighten your day.

"I am so cute. Aren't I cute? My Momma says I'm cute so I must be cute."

"Uh, this was not at all what you described and I don't appreciate your trickery getting it into my mouth you vile woman." "Making sweet potatoes bubble spit is fuuuuuun!"

Next week, peas????

Seven hours in heaven

I slept 7 straight hours last night.  SEVEN.  I had clinical at 6am and didn't get home until 7pm.  With Avelyn already asleep, no internet (wail) and no Tivo saved programs (double wail) I had no reason to live and therefore chose sleep.  I showered, ate half a bowl of cereal, washed some bottles and passed out.  It was beautiful.  Just thought I'd share this wondrous occasion while I briefly have internet at school.  I promise better stories to come since I started OB clinicals yesterday (very cool!)

Today

I passed my D&S exam which means I don't fail out of school!

and,

I passed my first pedi test so the first test of the semester is OVER!!

also,

Hurricane Ike is headed our way so I might not have clinical Sunday!!!

This week just keeps getting better and better.  Now if I can just convince Kevin to stay home with Avelyn Friday night while I go party like it's 1999 with some nursing buddies.  It feels like 99 years since I've done that and to be honest, it's time to do a little of this...

anx·i·e·ty

anx·i·e·ty [ang-zahy-i-tee], –noun
1. distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune: He felt anxiety about the possible loss of his job.
2. a state of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder.

Either I will not be posting as often or as in depth as I have been or I will be posting lots of freak outs in the coming weeks. School started last week. I had two quizzes, which I aced, and two math tests, which I didn't. You have to get a 100% to pass. Unfortunately the math tests are really, really, really important and if I don't pass the 3rd one on Wednesday I am dropped for the semester... which means I am out until next fall when these classes are offered again. Which would mean being away from Kevin for even longer!?! Or getting a job in the meantime and being away from Avelyn even more!?! Feeling like a total failure that let everyone down!?! Yes to all the above.

I'm sort of freaking out.

A lot.

A whole lot.

Like every 2 minutes.

I also have a massive information overloaded Pedi test on Wednesday that I am completely unprepared for and I have to spend most of tomorrow orienting to my OB clinical hospital. Then I have the D&S exam after the test. I should also mention the quiz in OB after THAT. I am so stressed about organizing my time that I'm wasting most of it. (I am not counting this blog as wasting, I am using my "break" to write it and excusing it away as cheap therapy.) I'm not the only student in this boat, this is a really hard semester of our nursing program, most say it's the hardest. If I had passed the D&S exam the first two times I think I wouldn't be as stressed. What good is studying for this stupid pedi test if I screw the D&S and get dropped anyway?

Breathe... letting it go for tonight and hitting the books again. What else can I do?

I miss my husband. I miss Avelyn and she's sleeping 30 feet away. I want to wake up tomorrow and be done with school.

[Jennifer's Alternate Reality: She is not studying. Or freaking out. She is brushing her teeth and crawling into bed where her beautiful baby daughter rolls over to nuzzle into her chest. Because in Jennifer's Alternate Reality (JAR) she would have been able to breastfeed so she wouldn't have to worry about washing the pile of bottles on the counter. Instead of studying for school tomorrow she is falling asleep to visions of playtime and walks in the park. She is holding her baby close, because in JAR she doesn't worry about the things she normally worries about and co-sleeps with her baby every night. As well as her husband since in JAR they live together in the same city in the same house and sleep in the same bed. Every night. JAR is like the Hidden Valley Ranch city but a little more ethereal and doesn't smell like salad.]

Diagnosis X

Pt: Jennifer M. Welch
DOB: 04/15/1981 ..
Sex: F .
Marital Status: Married .
Occupation: mother, wife, student, nurse, housekeeper, cook, dog walker, full time looney ..

Chief complaint: Pt c/o feeling "like my brain and soul are being slowly sucked out of my body".

Dx #1: Disturbed Sleep Pattern r/t waking at night to care for infant, staying up late studying, fear of failing D&S exam AEB verbal complaints of less than adequate sleep, awakening earlier than desired, interrupted sleep, puffy under eyes, irritability, yearning for naps, yawning, altered facial expression (e.g. blank look, fatigued appearance, ugly scowl).

Dx #2: Chronic confusion r/t oversaturation of educational information AEB altered interpretation/response to stimuli, progressive cognitive impairment, no change in level of consciousness, impaired memory (short-term and long-term), altered personality (sometimes referred to as bitchy).

Dx #3: Role strain r/t difficulty being in multiple places at once AEB unpredictable school schedule, knowledge deficit regarding studies, personal and social life is disrupted by educational demands, multiple competing roles, time and freedom is restricted because of studying, past history of poor relationship between pt and textbooks, social isolation r/t studying, no respite from educational demands, expresses negative feelings about being surrounded by dumbasses.

Key:
pt = patient
c/o = complains of
dx = diagnosis
r/t = related to
AEB = as evidenced by
D&S = dosage and solutions

Um, uh, ugggggh

Soooooooo... I started back to school yesterday. I'm already behind. Please, please, please pray for my soul. Pray for my sanity. Pray that I somehow find the energy, the time and the strength to do what needs to be done to pass this semester. I'm really worried and starting to stress, a feeling I loathe and have done without for enough weeks to know I enjoy life much more without it.

Here is my typical week, every week, from now until December 19th:
Sunday
(7am to 7pm) - Pedi clinical
(8pm +) - sleep... but probably study first
Pro: I'm at Texas Children's Hospital, one of the best in the country.
Con: Avelyn will be asleep when I leave and asleep when I get home. :(

Monday
(7am to 8pm) - take care of Avelyn; send Kevin back to San Antonio; take Avelyn to my grandparents so we can spend the night and they can watch her on Tuesday
(8pm to ??am) shower/eat/study
Pro: Spending time with my daughter.
Con: Kevin leaves; having to spend the night away from home; prepping for clinical; exhaustion at the end of the day when I need to study and retain information.

Tuesday
(7am to 7pm) - OB clinical
(8pm to ??am) - studying for pedi AND OB quiz and/or test for Wednesday
Pro: I'm excited about OB
Con: Avelyn will be asleep when I leave and asleep when I get home. :( ; having to spend the night away from home; being EXHAUSTED from clinical and having to study for two classes the next day

Wednesday
(7am) - drive home to meet sitter
(9am to 4pm) - OB & Pedi classes
(4pm to 8pm) - take care of Avelyn
(8pm to ??am) - shower/eat/study
Pro: Still thinking...
Con: Rush to get home in the morning; all day in class without Avelyn; having a quiz and/or test EVERY WEEK in both classes

Thursday
(all day) - at home, finally
Pro: spending time with my Little Lady; Kevin gets here in the evening
Con: worrying about all the work I have left to do that needs to be done, didn't get done or is stealing my thoughts away from baby girl; doing that work after she goes to bed

Friday
(all day) - library/home
Pro: Kevin is in town
Con: going to the library to study for half the day when I'd rather be at home

Saturday
(all day) - library/hospital/home
Pro: Kevin is in town
Con: prepping for clinical on Sunday; studying

So, I know it could be a lot worse. An arm could fall off or a spider could bite my nose or something that is an actual problem could possibly occur but I am feeling rather whiny. And stressed. And worried. And [insert your own synonym here]. I feel entitled every now and then. Especially at this very moment when I just realized what the heck I've gotten myself into...

I'm in nursing school, my fourth of five semesters of nursing classes.

With a baby.

And my husband lives in another city.

I can do this, right?

(PS - Thanks to everyone for the great comments and encouragement regarding the previous post. It's nice to know that a) people care, b) people read this and I'm not just writing for me, myself and I and c) I have really great friends, both online and off.)

Stuff

I am pooped.  The semester is over and I don't have class until September 2nd.  Of course I do have about 400 pages to read for the first day of class so I'm super psyched for this "break".  

Our air conditioner FINALLY got fixed last night at 7pm.  I had intended to drive to San Antonio after finals were over and the air situation was resolved but I decided today I just couldn't make the trip.  The thought of driving for 4 hours by myself with Avelyn just makes my stomach turn.  Literally.  She has moved beyond the newborn stage and doesn't sleep much at all during the day.  Usually a 30 minute nap in the morning and a 1-2 hour nap in the afternoon.  Neither of these is long enough to drive 200 miles in peace.  I thought about driving at night, after she goes to bed, but that didn't work last night.  It was 11pm before I got everything packed up and (mostly) cleaned at my grandparents house and I was way too tired to be on the road until 3:00 in the morning.

Kevin was pretty frustrated since he was looking forward to seeing us, and I felt bad about not going, but I had to make the right choice for all of us.  It wasn't smart to drive that late at night and it probably isn't wise to drive that trip at all just me and her.  Luckily Kevin woke up this morning and decided he would just come back to Houston for a few days.  He has a lot of work to do but nothing that required he be at school to accomplish.  I am really glad he came back.  He was just gone 2 days but I think I was happier to see him today than I was when I picked him up at the airport.  That sounds weird.  Oh well.  

I really wanted to go to San Antonio because there are a few friends I didn't get to see the last time I went (in May) and I was looking forward to seeing them.  Also, my brother is in SA this week and I haven't seen him since... thinking... oh wow, Christmas??  Is that right?  He leaves for basic training for the Army August 26th and I want to see him and introduce Avelyn before he goes.  To top it off I just heard he was in a car wreck in SA.  Turns out it wasn't too bad, which I naturally assumed since my mother notified me of the incident via Facebook mail.  LOL.  I can't believe my baby brother is all grown up and Army Strong.  I'm so proud of him.

Anyway, if you have any thoughts, suggestions or past experiences about road trips with babies please leave a comment!

Oh - I got an 'A' in Psychiatric and Mental Health!  Thanks for all your good thoughts!