Showing posts with label pictures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pictures. Show all posts

Monday, April 6, 2009

These days are (near) perfection

Another great weekend with the Hobo, another job interview, another job offer and NO completed school work to show for it.  Sounds like a success wouldn’t you say?  I now have two job offers to choose from.  One in the Pediatric Emergency Room (Pedi ER), the other in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU).  Decisions, decisions.  I plan to make my decision this week, although I’m pretty sure what I want to do.  Before I decline the other position I want something in writing from the job I do want.  Jobs are scarce these days and with a bird in hand… well you get it.  What do you think I should pick?  Put in your two cents on the poll on the right side bar by this Friday at noon and we’ll see if you were right!

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The above photos were taken in the last few weeks.  The diaper change in the trunk is the best idea I’ve ever had.  Except for über cold or über rainy days I’d rather change her precious rump in the trunk of my own car than on those nasty, germy, disgusting changing stations.  Take a UV light to those things some day.  EWWWWWWWWW.  And the pink sparkly shoes, well, SHE NEEDS THEM AND SO DO ALL LITTLE GIRLS!!  BECAUSE THEY’RE PINK!!!  AND SPARKLY!!!  Please don’t sell out before I can buy you, shoes!

I got in SA just in time to put Avelyn to bed Thursday night.  She was so excited to see me that she race-crawled right over in her little pink PJ’s and buried her head in my chest.  Those are the moments that break your heart, but in a good way.  Of course it was right before bed so when I tried to give her a bottle she was too excited to eat or sleep and wanted to play.  The sit-on-the-bed-and-sing-while-she-drank-a-bottle trick didn’t work so we moved to Plan B and I held her close and rocked her in my arms until she calmed down.  She is such a big baby girl now, and most nights will let you hold her close until she decides “Okay, time for bed” and reaches to go to her crib.  I appreciate this maturity on her part, don’t get me wrong, but the immature Momma part of me is sobbing OH MY GOD! MY BABY IS SOOOOO GROWN UP AND DOESN’T WANT ME!  SOOO(hiccup!)OOBBBBBBB!  But then she sleeps for at least 10 hours straight without making a peep and I sing Hallelujah to the heavens for finallyaftermonthsandmonthsandmonths granting me the gift of rest.

Friday was awesome.  I dropped Avelyn off at daycare without one tear (from her or me), had a great job interview with the PICU (can I be super proud of myself for a moment?  I mean TWO interviews and TWO job offers?), had lunch with Kevin then headed home for a well needed two hour nap.  I had a terrible cold and NEEDED. SLEEP.  Then I picked Avelyn up from daycare and tried to take her picture since Kevin has not kept up with the 1,387 picture a day precedent I set. 

I call this series “The Screaming Baby” because this baby is very into screaming these days.  Look at that girl standing, the one soooo close to walking!  Isn’t she tall?  Doesn’t she look like a little KID from behind?  Where did my baby chubber wub go?  Oh wait, phew! There it is behind her knees.  Love it.

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In preparation for Avelyn’s FIRST birthday (12 more days!) I wanted to get her pictures made.  I found a few great photographers, one of which lives in Texas (hence was the obvious choice) and was really, really excited to get some great photos.  Unfortunately we move a lot and the money tree I ordered has yet to be delivered to the right address so we were out of luck.  But pictures are better than no pictures so I booked a session at the PP and had Avelyn model some potential outfits for the shoot. She looked utterly delicious and seemed to enjoy the first ensemble as evidenced by this face: 04.03.09_ 042But then I got a little cocky and tried to take pictures of her from a different angle.  It didn’t go so well:04.03.09_ 043The second wardrobe change was even more fun.  The sheer nerve of me I tell you:04.03.09_ 044

In keeping with her less than stellar performance during dress rehearsal the night before, the photo shoot on Saturday went kind of… meh.  She spent most of the time crying, screaming, making no face whatsoever and crawling off camera towards me.  We got a few good shots but nothing like her normal wide eyed grin.  I love them all though, no matter what.  Unfortunately they look like, well, portrait studio pictures.  Ugh.  I think I take way better pictures than they do.  If the subject weren’t so damn adorable I wouldn’t have bought one picture.  One day I will get the photos I want.  (Like THIS YEAR KEVIN.  When I get a job we’re doing it.)  Until then I will just drool over Matt, Sharon and Annalee’s beautiful photos.  They’re all really good looking people but their hands-down-utterly-beautiful baby girls really make the shot.  Some more cuteness to tide you over.

AvelynFlowersFullAvelynStrawberryFlowerAvelynPolkaDotFullAvelyn&Mom

Hobo Baby is wearing Kate Mack by Biscotti Baby Spring Rose dress, Kate Mack Strawberry Fields Voile Bubble Romper, and Iris & Ivy some dress I don’t know the name of.  (Note to Biscotti – we love your clothes, want to send some our way?)

 

8 days to my 28th birthday!
11 days to Avelyn’s 1st birthday!
14 days to Kevin’s 32nd birthday!
31 days to Momma’s graduation!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Highlights/Lowlights

Whew.  This week has been a whirlwind.  I want to tell you about all the wild and crazy fun family things we did this week but we didn’t really do any of those.  We did have some regular fun family things we did a lot of.  Like playing on the floor, going out to eat, [window] shopping, me getting a job, making practice birthday cakes.  Oh yeah, I’ve been DEAD TO BLOGGING this week but ta da!


I GOT A JOB!

My interview on Monday went really well (clearly).  The Nurse Manager I interviewed with told me he had a few more candidates to talk to but that I sounded like I had all the qualities he was looking for and I really impressed him during the interview.  I was all, Uh duh Dude, but I bet you say that to all the interviewees and he was all, no way man, you totally rocked it so then I was like yeah, I know, I am FREAKING BAD ASS and he was like yeah, yeah you are.  Then he said HR would be contacting me in the coming weeks.  Exactly 3 hours and 21 minutes after I left the building HR called and told me the job was mine.  IN YO’ FACE all you other [alleged] interviewees!

So I’m supposed to wait for the head HR lady to call me on Monday with all the details.  I need to find out what the deadline to accept is, since I am still hoping to hear from a few more hospitals.  I would like to have a few offers and be able to choose the best one for me but honestly, all I wanted was ONE and I got it.  I think I would really love working in the Pedi ER and I would get to see a lot of stuff I might not see elsewhere.  I’m a little proud of myself so I’ll go ahead and say it,


GO ME!

We were supposed to go to the zoo with some friends on Wednesday but wouldn’t you know we got rained/winded/COLLLLLDED out.  What the hell Weather?  Every freaking year, huh?  Well at least you’re consistent.  The rest of our week went nice and slow and perfect but somehow it’s turned into Saturday and I don’t like it one bit.  Booooooo urns. 

Yesterday we took advantage of my cousin’s loaner house key and hung out at her place while she was out of town.  We needed to get out of the house.  Unfortunately it was 61 degrees inside since she was gone and we nearly froze our patooties off --- until we discovered the heart pounding, sweat inducing Holy Grail of my kind of video games AKA Guitar Hero.

Why had I never played this before?  Why am I always the last to come around and finally try something everyone else has been raving about and playing for years?  Sweet Mary’s Little Lamb that game is fun and might I most humbly say


I. AM. AWESOME. AT. IT.

No, really I am.  I kicked Weezer’s “My Name Is Jonas” ass and have a burning desire to play this game continuously until I hold top rank on every song on the playlist.  Granted we started on Easy level but if memory serves I did outplay Kevin pretty consistently.  He did better on a few songs but I think I totally rule overall.  (Dear Hubby, I so rarely win at anything please let me continue to believe this even if it is a totally false memory.  Thank you.)

A few of you on Facebook have already let me know that Rock Band should be played next and bought soon and very soon because, uh, it rocks.  I am looking forward to it.

Since I’ve been MIA for a while and I like to believe a few of you obsessively check the site bi-hourly for updates I thought I would pay you back with a Super Hobo fix and provide a teeniny glimpse of our week.

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55 days to Momma’s graduation!
 

(HOLY FREAKING COW!)

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Annnnnd BREAK!

Wait for it, wait for it ---


I’M ON SPRING BREAK!!

WOOOOOO HOO!

Amidst a HUGE list of school related things to do over the next week, I plan to do a lot of relaxing and playing around with Kevin and Avelyn.  03.07.09_ 019Hopefully the weather will cooperate a few afternoons and we can hit the park, take some walks, have a picnic and who knows what else.  Autumn, Raena and I might even take the kids to the zoo for Avelyn’s FIRST zoo visit!  Heck maybe the three of us will feel like a real family, stranger things have happened.  Oh yeah, I also have that pesky job interview Monday morning, have I mentioned that yet?  Well, I have a job interview Monday morning in the Pediatric Emergency Room at a 03.07.09_ 050hospital here in San Antonio.  I’m excited and nervous and have no idea what to wear or say.  Please say a quick prayer for me Monday morning at 11am that I will be calm, confident and show them exactly how bad-ass a nurse I will be.  Or at least not look like a total idiot, that would do too.

03.07.09_ 075Speaking of Autumn, tonight we celebrated her big little man’s 4th birthday!  I am so glad we were able to make it.  I had the best burger I’ve ever had at Big’z and had a great time hanging out with friends.  I think it may be the first time Kevin and I have been out in a big group of people (our age) since Avelyn was born.  And the best part about it was that all those people have kid(s) too so nobody thought it was weird when I forgot Avelyn’s bib (again) and tied 03.07.09_ 016a paper towel around her neck (again).  And no one batted an eyelash when she dropped a bit of her teething biscuit down her dress and I fished it out and ate it.  Hey, those biscuits are pretty good, low in calories and the baby slobber only adds to it’s exotic flavor.  Plus I’ve eaten way more disgusting things.

It was great to see Autumn’s new little man too.  He is getting so big and looks just like his Mama.  03.07.09_ 032After our burgers Kevin and I split a chocolate shake for dessert.  I tried to explain the deliciousness of chocolate shakes to the baby in the Hobo Bib but she didn’t buy it.  It worked out in the end since I just made sure to drink her share too.03.07.09_ 021  Avelyn hung with Raena’s sweet little girl while the rowdy boys played nearby.  She was so sweet with her and played “This Little Piggy” on her toes and patted her head.  Of course the head patting led to other little girls, whom we did not know, coming up and patting her head and her legs and saying “baby, baby”.  One little girl even asked “She’s a girl right?” 03.07.09_ 059to which I replied yes and she started shouting “I was right, I was right! She’s a girl!”  I’m glad the pink headband and pink gingham jumper weren’t too much of a giveaway.  It’s good to know that in today’s paparazzi driven world my little angel can go out in public incognito as an androgynous baby.

The rest of the evening seemed to go too quickly and before I knew it there was a lot of03.07.09_ 076 eye rubbing going on.  We said goodbye to Avelyn’s new best friend, Miss Piggy Toes, and packed up but not before snapping a quick photo of Avelyn learning to stand.  All by herself!  She did it earlier in the day but we didn’t have the camera.03.07.09_ 071  It’s hard to tell from the photo but I promise I’m not just showing off my fantastic jazz hands, she really is standing on her own.  (Also, I do not have a giant freaky forehead, it’s a lens flare.  And my hand is really not that large, it’s perspective.  Just for the record.)  Avelyn sang to herself all the way home, a perfect ending to another great reunion. 

Here’s to a great week for us all!

03.07.09_ 028    03.07.09_ 035 

61 days to Momma’s graduation!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Finally, a feel good kind of day

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the mornin' last.
Just kickin' down the cobblestones,
Lookin' for fun and feelin' groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feelin' groovy.

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Hello, lamppost, whatcha knowin'?
I come to watch your flowers growin'
Ain'tcha got no rhymes for me?
Doo it doo doo, feelin' groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feelin' groovy.

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I got no deeds to do, no promises to keep.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all it's petals on me
Life, I love you, all is groovy!
Ba da da da da da da ba bap a dee...

03.03.09_ 132    Posted on Flickr

Thursday, February 19, 2009

V-Day Heyday

Click the photo below to see a little of our Valentine’s Day fun… well the fun we had amidst the snot and the tears and the yuck that sick brought.  Good riddance evil cold!!

77 days to Momma’s graduation!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Happy [mostly] Merry Christmas!

The holidays are over, praise God. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Christmas. It is my favorite time of year. Lights sparkle all over town, shopping malls and traffic lights are adorned with festive wreaths and ribbons and the anticipation of Christmas morning looms in my mind.

It also brings family which in itself brings stress and anxiety. Oi.

My time in San Antonio started out great. I finished my final on Wednesday the 17th, had lunch with some friends and hit the road for SA. I pulled in just in time to see Avelyn's face light up when she saw me and I put her to bed. Man she's beautiful. We had some good days of shopping and eating and baking cookies then Avelyn caught a nasty cold. She was so pitiful and congested and couldn't eat much for days. It's hard to suck on a bottle when your nose is full of snot. For all of it she sure makes being sick look good.

Monday some of Kevin's family arrived and we had a good time introducing Avelyn to them. She fell in love with Kevin's cousin, warmed up to Great Aunt K the second day and took a few more days to get past Great Uncle T's mustache. I guess she thought he was trying to hide or something. Tuesday morning we learned two things. One, that she is a born gift wrapper and took to decorating packages like a pro. (Or at least ripping bows off and beating people with empty paper rolls.) Two, that the kid loves Truffles. (Or at least the noise they make when you shake the heck out of them.)

We had some fun wrapping the 1,437 gifts that needed wrapping while other people went out shopping. Avelyn's cold kept her and I at home in the warmth and we were A-OK with that.

Wednesday was Christmas Eve, and only slightly more stressful because everyone who was coming to Christmas was here. Between becoming a mother (and the empowerment that comes with it) and Prozac I am much better equipped to handle this kind of stress than I used to be. I know I can take a deep breath, go in the other room for a bit and come out renewed and refreshed. If all else fails I can always use the excuse "Well, Avelyn is so stopped up that she can't breathe when she sleeps. I'm going to lay down with her so she'll get a decent nap." I don't know what I'll do when my kids are grown and I can't use them as a getaway excuse anymore.

We went to Christmas Eve service and danced Avelyn around in her gorgeous red Christmas dress. She looked so beautiful! I took her up front during the kids reading and the preacher talked about what Joy meant and handed out little "JOY" ornaments to all the children. I just kept watching her face light up when she stared at other kids faces, or at the beautiful red poinsettias everywhere. Her face is the definition of pure JOY.


After church service we came back to Kevin's parent's house and clowned around while making dinner (cheeseburgers, tator tots and baked beans are the tradition) and watching TV. Well, I mostly skulked around while Avelyn napped because I am so used to having something to do. With no school work and no baby to watch I was really antsy with nothing to do.

In Kevin's family, it is tradition to open all presents on Christmas Eve. I look forward to seeing his extended family and laughing all night opening gifts and getting to sleep in on Christmas morning. That being said, in my family we always opened gifts from siblings on Christmas Eve and Santa presents on Christmas morning. And the presents were wrapped.

Kevin and I both know each other's family traditions. It took me years when we were dating to accept the fact that (gasp!) not every family worked like mine and opened wrapped gifts on Christmas morning. As a matter of fact, I can remember most of our "How the Holiday's Work" conversations, including the most recent on 12/22/08, going a little like this:

"But the holiday is Christmas! Not Christmas Eve! You don't open Christmas presents on Christmas Eve!"

"Yes you do! You only open Santa presents on Christmas day."

"But you're all old. Nobody gets Santa presents anymore!"

"Yeah. Now we open them all on Christmas Eve. We got Santa presents when we were little. He left them by the fireplace."

"Uh, what? What do you mean by the fireplace? Not under the Christmas tree?"

"No. Why would he leave them under the tree? He comes down the fireplace, leaves the gifts and runs back to his sleigh. He's got a lot of houses to hit. He doesn't have time to walk them all to the tree. And they're not wrapped, that's how you know they're from Santa."

"WHAT!?!? What do you mean they're not wrapped? Presents are always wrapped! And under the CHRISTMAS tree! It's Christmas!"

"Uh, why would Santa wrap presents? He doesn't have time to wrap presents. He makes toys in his toy shop and leaves them by the fireplace. Unwrapped."

"Please stop talking, you're going to make me cry. I'm serious. That is the saddest thing I've ever heard. Our children will always have wrapped presents from Santa under the tree."

After a heated discussion and some tears on my part we eventually found a compromise. Our kids will have the bulk of Christmas on Christmas day. On Kevin's year when we are with his family we will do big family Christmas on Christmas Eve and save our special "just us" Christmas and Santa presents for Christmas morning. On my year we will stay at home, in our house so they can wake up to presents under their tree in their house with just us. It's important to me. Oh and their presents on Christmas morning WILL be wrapped, under the tree. Some "big" Santa gifts, like a bike or say, a pink piano will be uncovered, left quickly by Santa. Maybe by a fireplace, maybe not.

Anyway, that part is settled. At least until next year I'm sure.

After Christmas Eve service and Christmas Eve cheeseburgers, tator tots and baked beans I bathed Avelyn and got her ready for preseeeeeeeents!! She pulled a pretty good haul and is one of the best gift receivers I've ever seen, especially for an eight month old. I was both impressed and proud. She did awesome until four presents from the end when she decided she'd had enough and refused any more gifts. Man, would you guys ever turn down gifts? She can be such a baby when she wants to.
After some tears, some bottle and some hugging Avelyn went to sleep and the grownups opened preseeeeeeeents! Kevin and I made out pretty well ourselves as evidenced by the best present ever, the iPhone box (we got the phone a few days prior), and my favorite surprise present the SoundSpa Premier Clock Radio that projects time and temp on the ceiling. It's awesome. Especially if you sleep in the same room as your baby and you constantly worry if she's too cold or too hot. For some reason Kevin got a ton of dress shirts and we're still not sure why but they are very nice shirts so he should be set for a while. Thanks Welch Fam!

I was so happy Avelyn slept fairly well on Christmas Eve. With all the ruckus of the adults opening gifts we had her fall asleep in another room far from the noise and then transferred her to our room later when she woke up. I can barely remember that night so in my retelling I will say that she slept straight through, woke up at 10am and walked out to behold her Santa loot.

Okay, that didn't happen. What did happen was pretty cute though. We set up the video camera and used the last 20 minutes of tape to record Avelyn's First Christmas. It should be up for an Oscar this year. She absolutely loooooves her pink piano! She can't get enough of it and she is really good. She mostly plays good morning tunes and some progressive jazz. She also plays for tips so if you're ever in town.... In addition to the pink piano Santa left some books, a bucket of pink blocks, time honored pop beads, a super fun flower pot thing-a-ma-bob and some things I'm forgetting. Santa did well and it was a great morning. See what a natural talent she is?
After a fun filled day of Santa, snacks and the most incredibly raunchy movie ever that caused me to use my Momma card and excuse Avelyn and me to another room, we had a visit from my mom and brother for Christmas dinner. And Avelyn got even more gifts. She looked so cute in her Christmas dress and red tights. If I were you I would really watch out for world implosion. I don't know if a planet can take this much cuteness.


Again, I don't remember much after dinner and gifts so it must have been a pretty smooth evening. We took it easy on Friday and did a whole lot of nothing. Avelyn was starting to feel a little better and even slept a little easier Thursday night, only waking a few times unable to breathe. Great Aunt N, Great Aunt K, Great Uncle T and Cousin S were leaving at the crack of dawn Saturday morning so Avelyn said her goodbyes (you can see for yourself how sad she was they were leaving).


After Avelyn went to bed we all sat around while dinner was preparing. Somewhere in the midst of ham heating in the oven and the umpteenth conversation about something astoundingly boring, Kevin's sister and aunt noticed something out the back window. Flames. Big flames licking the top of the fence in the backyard and what appeared to be teenage boys running in and out of the house scared sh*tless.

Everybody ran outside on the deck while I watched through the window. They started calling out to them to dump water on it, then to spray water on the roof to keep the flames away from the house then to dump flour on the fire. Kevin's dad ran out their garden hose and tried to help spray from over the fence. There were flames and water and flour flying everywhere. After a few mentions of calling the fire department I saw the flames fly higher into the air, above the fence line, above the roof and grabbed the phone.

Now I've called the cops more than once in my life. Oddly never in Chicago where we had gunshots on our block more than once, a pipe bomb explode on our beach and a fire set in our stairwell by some neighborhood punks. I've only called the cops on loud obnoxious partying neighbors in San Antonio when they wouldn't turn down their bass at 3am on a Tuesday.

Anyway, I called 911, was politely asked if I needed Police, Fire or Ambulance and was transferred to Fire. I calmly told them our address and that the house behind us had a large uncontrolled fire brewing in the backyard. The polite dispatcher thanked me and let me know someone was on their way. After I hung up I varied between watching the craziness through the window and watching the baby monitor. Since Avelyn was somehow sleeping through the commotion I decided to run down the street and stand on the corner to direct the FD to the appropriate residence of the idiot boys. It was all very surreal.

In the end the FD kind of drizzled their hoses on the fire which at this point was dying down and stood around with the boys. Cousin S crept outside and eavesdropped on the conversation which went a little like this:

Fire Dept: "So whose house is this?"
Idiot Boy: "My house."
FD: "And who owns the house?"
IB: "My parents."
FD: "Are they home?"
IB: "No."
FD: "Maybe you should call them."

After the adrenaline rush of the fire (which totally made me regret not choosing ER for my High Acuity rotation this spring) we had a good laugh at how stupid teenagers are and I swore to go over to that house the next day and make sure their parents knew about the fire. Then we ate dinner.

Long drawn out sigh. I wish I could say the night had ended there.

After dinner was over we sat around some more trying to figure out whether to watch The Dark Knight on Blu-Ray or play games. In the end we somehow decided on games, a decision which will go down in the halls of history as one of the worst ideas. Ever. Ever ever.

The game started okay, with two teams on either side of the room and my MIL reading the questions. If you have ever played Trivial Pursuit (or any game for that matter) then you probably know Murphy's Law of game playing: one team always seems to get harder questions than the other. Well, my opposing team was getting those questions. It wasn't like our questions were easy, but theirs were more abstract.

Anyway, we had all had a glass or two of wine at dinner but a few people on the opposing team had been drinking a lot. This, unfortunately, is not unusual for them. Henceforth the person of consequence shall be referred to as Heinous Bitch Good Time Ruiner.

So, GTR was having a heyday being rude to my MIL for laughing while reading most of the questions. Very rude and hurtful. Then GTR (and to be fair, the team) started complaining (some funny, some serious) that their questions were harder. Okay, they probably were but I believe most normal people playing with family during Christmas would have just laughed at the irony. GTR just got more obnoxious and stupid as the game continued making snide comments about our teams intelligence and topping it with a dumbass joke about "putting a hex on us" when we got a question wrong. It was so childish and lame.

In my head I was rolling my eyes but honestly it wasn't really bothering me too much. We were playing a game after all, and I was having such a wonderful time being with these people I love so much. A few minutes later Kevin got a little heated, wanting the game to end so the ridiculous behavior would stop and jokingly said something like "well why don't you guys just put a hex on us?" to which I also jokingly replied "No I wouldn't do that because I'm not a child." This was followed by an ice stare from Kevin who knew this wouldn't go over well and a comment from GTR. "Yes you are a child Jennifer. Eff you. Why don't you go back to your effing playpen."

Yep.

Fortunately for me I only heard "Yes you are a child" and nothing else. Avelyn had started crying a few minutes before so I jumped up to go rock her and when I opened the door to come back to the game I heard some shouting from GTR that could only have been about me. I quickly shut door, picked up Avelyn and curled up to fall asleep on the bed. I didn't need that drama.

Needless to say GTR ruined the entire night. Kevin came in a few minutes later red faced and furious and grabbed Avelyn out of my arms and demanded I go talk to GTR and work this out. I absolutely refused, saying I had done nothing wrong and I was not going to talk to them while they were behaving this way. Then he said it wasn't about the game, it was about something regarding GTR and Avelyn that I had never even said. Ridiculous. I stomped out of the room, flushed, heart racing to find MIL, Cousin S and Great Aunt K sitting stunned in the living room.

I threw my arms in the air when I walked in and said "What the heck? What did I do? I thought we were playing a game and having a good time!" They all just stared and said "I thought so too". Then I told them what Kevin said and that I was NOT going to go outside and talk to GTR because they were drunk and mean (like usual) and I wasn't going to talk to them about something that wasn't even an issue. MIL said "No, you shouldn't have to do this. It's stupid. You didn't do anything wrong. You go back to your room and hold your baby."

Have I said it before? RIDICULOUS.

I went back to the bedroom and told Kevin I was not talking to this person about something that wasn't an issue, especially when they were drunk, and I just wanted to go to bed. He apologized about being so angry, said he knew I was not in the wrong and went back out so I could sleep with Avelyn. I just laid there for the longest time, heart pounding, unable to sleep. I was so... so... I didn't even know.

An antidepressant really messes with your ability to feel. It's very odd. I couldn't cry about it. I couldn't get seething mad about it. I couldn't laugh about it. I just felt... something. After a while I started thinking about my dad, and how much I was missing him this Christmas. I thought about how hurtful it was that Kevin didn't stand up for me and say something to GTR when they said what they said (I still didn't know exactly what it was). Then I started to cry. For the second time since Prozac. Kevin finally came to bed and said GTR had left and if I wanted to say bye to the people leaving early in the morning I should probably go out while they were still awake.

I went out and gave them each hugs and apologized for the evening ending so badly. They all made me feel better by saying I was not responsible for any of it. When I hugged MIL to say goodnight I just started crying. I felt so awful. I didn't know what I had done or said to be treated so bad and I didn't know why no one had done anything about it. She sat me down on the couch and we talked for a long while.

It was a wonderful conversation and made me feel better about not being the problem and sad that this was not the first or the last time she would deal with this situation. Then she gave me half an Ambien and I slept like a baby for the first time in months.

I woke up Saturday morning after a most peaceful night's rest, and decided Avelyn was well enough to drive to my dad's side family Christmas, 2-1/2 hours away. I needed to be around people that make me feel good about myself and this was the place to go. We weren't even there three hours before we had to leave and get back to San Antonio but I felt rejuvenated, warm and loved and that's just what I needed. It was so good to see everyone. Most of them had met Avelyn at Thanksgiving but there were a few final meet and greets. I think everyone in the family has met her now. Avelyn spent most of the day chewing on fingers, toes, toys, spoons, anything she could get in her mouth to work that tooth out. She is growing into the most beautiful girl.


Over the next few days I pumped Kevin for information telling him I needed to know every detail of what happened after I left the room. For me to quit being hurt and angry I needed to know what the heck went down. I found out exactly what GTR said, that only one person in the room had heard it in its entirety (somehow no one else had) and that Kevin had stood up for me when he realized what was going on. That meant the most. All I wanted was to know that the person I trust most in this world to take care of me, would. A few days later I thought about setting my own fire and burning Trivial Pursuit until the little plastic pies resembled that Everlasting Gobstopper from Willy Wonka. I didn't.

In case you're wondering what happened after the infamous 'Day After Christmas Day Debacle', the answer is nothing. No apology from GTR. They just sucked up and pretended like everything was fine. I was civil, not rude but not friendly, when spoken to. Kevin later told me they apologized to him and his parents Saturday morning and were really upset about the evening but they were terrified of me and afraid they had irreparably damaged our future. Good, I said, they kind of have. For me to get over it I just need to not see or talk to them for a few weeks or months. They should have apologized first thing Saturday morning when I got up. Since they apologized to everyone but me, it was a little too late right now and I did not want to hear it. I don't want to have some deep serious conversation which is clearly in order for whatever they perceive to be the "real" problem and I don't want a part of it. My life is going pretty well right now and I don't need them to ruin it.

So, that is my baby's first Christmas. Aside from the last ruined evening it was pretty cool.

Tuesday brought both elation and tears. Elation because GTR, who had decided to stay a few extra days (DAMMIT!) finally left Tuesday morning and tears because Kevin's cat of nearly 18 years was very ill and had to be put down. The rest of the past two weeks have been a bit of a blur, full of window shopping, eating, way too many football and basketball games and lots of playing with my awesome baby. This past Sunday her bottom right tooth finally broke its way through and by Monday the left had too. YAY AVELYN! The days following were full of lots of whining, drooling and pain. We've tried Tylenol/Orajel and now moved on to the Teething Tabs. We'll see which works.

She is so very cute since the teeth. They are barely there, not even noticeable to the eye, but she can feel them with her lips and tongue. As soon as they broke through she started "chewing" at every meal. Not much to chew with pureed baby food but it's instinctual I guess. I promise to post pictures as soon as she'll let me see her mouth. She's very possessive of those sore gums.

Oh yeah, Avelyn also started crawling! And sitting up by herself!! What a break this has been!!! She started getting up on hands and knees the week before we left Houston and since then learned to roll/sit up to get where she wants to be (very quickly mind you) and has taken to crawling 2-3 steps in a row before falling. Just tonight she crawled about 6 feet across the room to get to a pack of diapers. Her favorite new thing is crawling into very tight spaces and looking extra adorable.
I can't believe she is almost nine months old. It is going by so very fast.