Sunday, July 3, 2005

Who am I?

WHO are you?
I don’t like repeating myself so read all about me below.

WHAT is this blog about?
Me, my life, the people and things in my life and my maniacal rantings.

WHEN will you take over the world?
Imminently. And quite possibly never. I have a lot of stuff to do these days and I’m not big on confrontation.

WHERE can I send you a check for a million dollars?
I reside in Texas. Don’t try to find me as I am untraceable. Unless you really are going to send money fast, then go Western Union.

WHY do you call your baby Hobo?
In the first 12 months of Hobo’s life she bounced from home to home, city to city, parent to parent while her bum mom (me) finished school in one city and her bum Dad lived and worked in another. Also when left to his own devices her dad dressed her like a Hobo more often than not.

WHY should I care about you or your blog?
Because I am awesome, that’s why. That’s all you need to know. Now read it.


My name is Jennifer. I live in San Antonio, Texas with my husband Kevin, the tall guy in all the pictures who looks like a 6’1” harrier and manlier version of my daughter, Hobo Baby or Avelyn if we’re in public. We are also horrible pet parents to Thumper, the feline spawn from hell and Etta James, the neediest, fattest, whiniest Chihuahua to ever develop Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia and cost us more in vet bills than we paid to bring Hobo into this world. She takes lots of drugs that keep her alive but also make her really fat and grow black moles all over her body. Luckily for her she has black hair so no one notices. We are all insane.

My first degree is in interior design. I hate design and more than that I hate the loans I owe from getting a degree at design school. In 2007 while we lived (unemployed) in a 500 square foot apartment in Jersey City, New Jersey with a view of a New York City we could never afford to live in I decided to go back to school. Nursing school. We moved back to Texas, I got into school in Houston while Kevin stayed to work in San Antonio. The first day of school I found out I was pregnant. Shit. Turns out shit can be a really good thing. Hobo is the most amazing person I’ve ever met.

I started this blog in November 2007 to keep friends and family updated on my pregnancy. I’m 78% certain only two people in the world read it. Turns out I kept the blog because I really enjoyed writing about my life and it was cheaper than seeing a therapist. Sort of.

I don’t write a lot of what I want to say because I’m pretty sure a lot of people would get their panties in a wad. I think that really sucks. For me, not being able to say what I want to say, not for them. I don’t care about them. I do care about not having to have a lengthy, serious, dumbass conversation with anyone about how their feelings got hurt and what it all means.

I don’t curse much anymore since leaving the North and having a baby but sometimes it just helps get my point across.

I love my family but 48 hours is the maximum amount of time I can be around them, any of them, without wanting to kill myself or check into a mental hospital for a serious impending breakdown.

I love our friends and I hate that most of them live so far away. They get me and we have tons of fun.

I love chips and salsa, pink bubblegum ice cream, New York style pizza, fruit of any kind, water, taking pictures of Hobo, spending any kind of time with Hobo, darts, Guitar Hero, Mexican food, painted walls that aren’t beige, hard wood floors, tiny shoes for tiny kids and lots of other crap.

My goal in life is to one day go on a first ever vacation that I plan with people I want to go with. Oh, and to just be happy.

Not surprisingly I’m a work in progress.


More... things you need to know about me