It’s hard, but the paycheck is a nice perk

This is my 322nd post. That doesn't mean much but I thought I'd tell you since it's news to me.  If you look at the number of posts from last year you would think this number should be much higher.  I can't pinpoint exactly what's been going on that has made my posting wane.  I used to think about all kinds of blog posts to write and sometimes had a hard time narrowing down what to say which often resulted in insanely long posts that I bet no one could finish reading.  You all probably skipped the words and went straight to the pictures didn't you?  Don't lie.  I do the same thing.

I'm in a really weird place right now I guess.  School is over.  That’s weird.  Work has begun.  Weird.  I am now thought competent to practice nursing and people look at and talk to me in the hospital like I know all the answers and will be able to work wonders on their kid.  Uber weird.  News flash: I do not have all the answers.  Most nights, er mornings, I drive home thinking about you and your kids and how I wish I would have remembered to say just one more thing that might have been helpful to you.  In the middle of thinking about what I forgot to do for you and your kid I try to focus on the image of my perfectly healthy, roly poly, ball of wonder waiting for me to walk through the door.  I think about those things and about NOT falling asleep at the wheel and also please-for-the-love-of-God-do-I-really-have-to-go-back-to-work-tonight-say-it-ain’t-so.

Anyway.  I think the biggest reason I haven’t been posting is because – here comes the honest truth – I am totally, completely, 100% overwhelmed.  Ta da!  Not in the “I need help before I have a mental breakdown” kind of overwhelmed, just

OVER
(freaking)
whelmed

at the sheer amount of things I have to keep track of these days.  I’ll tell you what folks -- Working is hard.  Being a real nurse is hard.  Being a real working-mom nurse working 12-hour night shifts and having 12-hour class days in the daytime whose husband is away for the summer is really freaking hard.  I’ve already been reamed out because I forgot to do some online evaluations for the Nurse Residency Program.  Oops.  I’ve also filled out my first Medication Error report.  (Shits and giggles!?!) Oops.  Also, truth be told -- I don’t love it as much as I thought I would.  I don’t know if it’s because everything is new and I’m out of my element or if this unit just isn’t the right fit for me or because Kevin is gone and I stress every minute about who will take care of Avelyn and how some of them just will NOT do it right no matter what I say… not that I think about that A LOT or anything.  I’m just not sure.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate it.  When I’m there I work really hard, try to absorb anything and everything I can, practice new skills every night and I enjoy my job.  I just don’t love it and I thought, or at least hoped that, I would.  Naive I guess but still, is it too much to ask? 

I keep telling everyone I’m not totally surprised I feel this way because it’s the ER.  The pediatric ER.  Does anyone really wake up in the morning thinking, “Say! I’d like to go to work tonight and stick IV’s and catheters into every little kid and tiny baby that walks in tonight!”  Well I don’t, but that’s a lot of what I do when I go there.  Argh.  Also, I had an abuse case each of the last two nights I worked.  One was a definite, no doubt in anyone’s mind abuse case and the other was suspected.  Either way it takes up your whole night and the cops come and CPS and it’s just miserable.  Those are really hard.  Those make your stomach churn and your mind race and your heart sink into the floor.  Those and the cancer kids.  How I ever thought I might want to do Pediatric Oncology is beyond me.  When those kids pop up on the intake screen I scan really fast hoping they are NOT in my room.  It’s too much.  It’s too sad.  Kids shouldn’t get cancer, especially little kids, especially especially babies.  It’s not right and I hate hate hate it.

Man, I didn’t intend for this to be such a downer post so I hope you read it carefully and don’t think I’m freaking out having a midlife crisis or anything.  This is just all new, and I have to get the hang of it.  Also, like I said, IT’S REALLY FREAKING HARD.  New jobs are never easy and it doesn’t help that I have been sick with a virus for the last three weeks and everyone in my Nurse Residency group treated me like I had the plague so now I have no friends.  Whatev.  I need some working mom friends.  Why do you all live in OTHER STATES?  What’s so great about your state?  I’d say move here but I can’t wait to move away from here.  Anyway, read this with caution.  I keep wanting this blog to be the outlet I want it to be, where I can write about the actual goings on in my life with my stellar and world renowned sarcasm without a bandwagon of friends and family going ape shit crazy.  But then I write something and someone, somewhere, goes ape shit crazy and I back off again.  Gah!  It’s 10:32pm and the Hobo slept terribly in Chicago so I am going to take advantage of my night and try to be in bed by midnight so I get at least 6 hours sleep. 

Since I’m back in Texas I’ll end with ‘Night folks! Y’all come back now, ya here! because in Texas we all ride horses to work and sleep outside and end our conversations like that.  So, ‘night!

(Coming soon… much more delightful post about our Fun Fab Fabulous few days in Chicago!  Need a teaser?)

Not the big post I promised.

I think I swore in the last post, ONE WEEK AGO that I would be writing soon, and getting back on the blogging band wagon. I hate to ruin my rep for being an absolute Saint, but I am a known liar.

Working nights without a husband here is kicking my butt.  I am busy, or tired and thus slow moving, or sleeping, or soaking in the precious seconds I see Avelyn on working days.  I have one more night to work tonight (just 7pm-3am tonight, only 8 hours. YAY!) and then we fly out to Chicago to see this guy tomorrow night!

I am really excited, and I can't wait to see Avelyn's face when she sees him.  I'll try to post when I'm there.  Wish me luck on my plane ride with a one year old who doesn't sit still to read, doesn't watch tv and has ear problems.  This is going to be fuuuuuuuun.

In which I scream to the mountain tops in ecstatic disbelief

Today was a good day…

Today was one of those days, not SUPER DUPER GREAT! not ughhhhh, not bad.  Just really good.  And looooong.  It was clinical 9 of 12 for this semester and my last day working with the nurse I’ve been working with since January.  She has been an amazing preceptor and I am thankful for such a good clinical. 

I have gotten to see a lot and DO a lot more.  We’ve had some very interesting patients, some really great patients, a precipitous delivery (the baby’s HEAD was between her legs when we pulled back the covers), lots of IV’s, foley caths, SVE’s, and lots and lots and lots of fetal monitoring.  I learned how to read strips, identify bad situations and what to do with the patient, how to assess and care for the baby after birth, how to care for the family after birth, saw a placental abruption at 31 weeks, a cerclage placement for a bulging back at 17 weeks, briefly cared for a mom after a miscarriage, and took care of many wonderful women week after week.  I loved it.  I have three more days to work this week (with the nurse who delivered Avelyn last year!) and then I am finished.  My “Student Nurse” job will be OVER.  I will never have to work in a hospital for FREE again.  The next time I put on scrubs will be as a Graduate Nurse when I start my job in June.  And I will be making money.  Lots and lots of money.  Well, lots and lots in comparison to making NOTHING for the last year and half.  Wow.

The highlight of my day, well my whole clinical actually, was getting a visit from a patient we delivered about three weeks ago, a wonderful couple who had a beautiful baby girl.  (By the way Heather – the mom is the spitting image of you, only taller and not named Heather.)  I had a particularly great time taking care of this family.  After a birth plan that didn’t go so well (NOTE TO READERS: DON’T go to the hospital with a birth plan in writing, you are only setting yourself up for great disappointment if/when it doesn’t work out) I tried so very hard to care for them in the way I wanted to be cared for at my birth.  The doctor who delivered her was kind of an ass and I just rolled with the punches to try and give the patient what she wanted. 

We only got to talk for a minute or two before we had to get back to work but I was so taken aback and appreciative that they remembered me.  I can’t tell you how amazing it is to be present for a baby’s birth, to watch as that baby enters this world and see pure JOY wash over the parents faces.  Especially with first time parents.  I tear up at every birth and have to try really hard not to cry every time.  This couple was so sweet and thanked my nurse and I repeatedly for our care.  I don’t need to hear that from patients, I treat everyone the same regardless, but it really makes me feel good and let’s me know I’m doing something right.  And I try so hard to do something right.

Anyway, they wrote my nurse and I the sweetest notes and brought us a fabulous and thoughtful thank you gift.  I think I will keep that note tucked away for a long, long time.  It was a great day.

(Mmm, chocolates.  And do you see that?  That’s right, it’s MONOGRAMMED.  And has a zipper so my stuff won’t fly around everywhere in my bag.  How cool is that?  And how did they know?  I LOVE it!)

PS - in case you were wondering, I accepted the Pediatric ER job and not because more people voted for PICU.  But because I think I will learn a lot, do a lot, see a lot and hope to make a difference in somebody’s life.

PPS – did anyone else notice how close that little avatar baby under the header is to the ONE YEAR MARK?  7 days, 15 hours and 52 minutes until you-know-who’s FIRST BIRTHDAY!!

Last but not least - - -

Congratulations to Wendellynn for winning the family 4-pack to Disney on Ice!! 

I’ll contact you with the details this weekend.  Thank you to everyone for entering!

These days are (near) perfection

Another great weekend with the Hobo, another job interview, another job offer and NO completed school work to show for it.  Sounds like a success wouldn’t you say?  I now have two job offers to choose from.  One in the Pediatric Emergency Room (Pedi ER), the other in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU).  Decisions, decisions.  I plan to make my decision this week, although I’m pretty sure what I want to do.  Before I decline the other position I want something in writing from the job I do want.  Jobs are scarce these days and with a bird in hand… well you get it.  What do you think I should pick?  Put in your two cents on the poll on the right side bar by this Friday at noon and we’ll see if you were right!

The above photos were taken in the last few weeks.  The diaper change in the trunk is the best idea I’ve ever had.  Except for über cold or über rainy days I’d rather change her precious rump in the trunk of my own car than on those nasty, germy, disgusting changing stations.  Take a UV light to those things some day.  EWWWWWWWWW.  And the pink sparkly shoes, well, SHE NEEDS THEM AND SO DO ALL LITTLE GIRLS!!  BECAUSE THEY’RE PINK!!!  AND SPARKLY!!!  Please don’t sell out before I can buy you, shoes!

I got in SA just in time to put Avelyn to bed Thursday night.  She was so excited to see me that she race-crawled right over in her little pink PJ’s and buried her head in my chest.  Those are the moments that break your heart, but in a good way.  Of course it was right before bed so when I tried to give her a bottle she was too excited to eat or sleep and wanted to play.  The sit-on-the-bed-and-sing-while-she-drank-a-bottle trick didn’t work so we moved to Plan B and I held her close and rocked her in my arms until she calmed down.  She is such a big baby girl now, and most nights will let you hold her close until she decides “Okay, time for bed” and reaches to go to her crib.  I appreciate this maturity on her part, don’t get me wrong, but the immature Momma part of me is sobbing OH MY GOD! MY BABY IS SOOOOO GROWN UP AND DOESN’T WANT ME!  SOOO(hiccup!)OOBBBBBBB!  But then she sleeps for at least 10 hours straight without making a peep and I sing Hallelujah to the heavens for finallyaftermonthsandmonthsandmonths granting me the gift of rest.

Friday was awesome.  I dropped Avelyn off at daycare without one tear (from her or me), had a great job interview with the PICU (can I be super proud of myself for a moment?  I mean TWO interviews and TWO job offers?), had lunch with Kevin then headed home for a well needed two hour nap.  I had a terrible cold and NEEDED. SLEEP.  Then I picked Avelyn up from daycare and tried to take her picture since Kevin has not kept up with the 1,387 picture a day precedent I set. 

I call this series “The Screaming Baby” because this baby is very into screaming these days.  Look at that girl standing, the one soooo close to walking!  Isn’t she tall?  Doesn’t she look like a little KID from behind?  Where did my baby chubber wub go?  Oh wait, phew! There it is behind her knees.  Love it.

In preparation for Avelyn’s FIRST birthday (12 more days!) I wanted to get her pictures made.  I found a few great photographers, one of which lives in Texas (hence was the obvious choice) and was really, really excited to get some great photos.  Unfortunately we move a lot and the money tree I ordered has yet to be delivered to the right address so we were out of luck.  But pictures are better than no pictures so I booked a session at the PP and had Avelyn model some potential outfits for the shoot. She looked utterly delicious and seemed to enjoy the first ensemble as evidenced by this face: But then I got a little cocky and tried to take pictures of her from a different angle.  It didn’t go so well:The second wardrobe change was even more fun.  The sheer nerve of me I tell you:

In keeping with her less than stellar performance during dress rehearsal the night before, the photo shoot on Saturday went kind of… meh.  She spent most of the time crying, screaming, making no face whatsoever and crawling off camera towards me.  We got a few good shots but nothing like her normal wide eyed grin.  I love them all though, no matter what.  Unfortunately they look like, well, portrait studio pictures.  Ugh.  I think I take way better pictures than they do.  If the subject weren’t so damn adorable I wouldn’t have bought one picture.  One day I will get the photos I want.  (Like THIS YEAR KEVIN.  When I get a job we’re doing it.)  Until then I will just drool over Matt, Sharon and Annalee’s beautiful photos.  They’re all really good looking people but their hands-down-utterly-beautiful baby girls really make the shot.  Some more cuteness to tide you over.

Hobo Baby is wearing Kate Mack by Biscotti Baby Spring Rose dress, Kate Mack Strawberry Fields Voile Bubble Romper, and Iris & Ivy some dress I don’t know the name of.  (Note to Biscotti – we love your clothes, want to send some our way?)

 

8 days to my 28th birthday!
11 days to Avelyn’s 1st birthday!
14 days to Kevin’s 32nd birthday!
31 days to Momma’s graduation!

Movin’ on up

Oh my, what a week.  I’m feeling whelmed in both the good and bad sense of the word.  Did you know we found a house to rent in San Antonio?  Well, we found a house to rent in San Antonio!  It’s wonderful, huge, in a great GATED neighborhood.  It has a backyard, an Avelyn room, a Mom and Dad room, a guest room (this term used loosely since we have no extra mattress and I’m not a huge fan of house guests), a playroom (or dining room), an office, a big kitchen, a huge pantry, a 2 car garage, 2 bathrooms, a washer, dryer and lawn mower, a HUGE master closet, dozens of other closets, a covered patio, a fireplace… I’m leaving something important out.  Oh, it doesn’t have an entryway.  It has a “gallery”.  That’s what it’s called on the floor plan, a gallery.  Don’t that soun’ all sofistikated y’all?  “Oh Visitor Friend!  SO nice of you to stop by!  Won’t you please make your way through the GALLERY and join me on the settee in the parlour.”  Adding the ‘u’ to a word really makes it sparkle.  It’s like living in some exotic land like Wales or Canada. 

So that’s the first piece of good news.  The second is I PASSED THE HESI!  I didn’t blow it out of the water but I scored above what I needed to score to pass and am now eligible to graduate.  Whew!  What a load off.  Of course there are still papers to write, exams to pass, clinicals to finish, asses to kiss…  Also the fact that I never ordered my graduation “regalia” (who comes up with these words!?) because a) I forgot and then b) I didn’t want to on principle.  Why should I pay that much money for something I will wear for 2 hours?  Why don’t you have a rental plan???  Sigh.  I’m thisclose to purchasing another one online and hoping it won’t stand out to much.  Although even if it does I’m toying with the idea of waltzing across the stage, grabbing my diploma and then doing the Michael Jackson crotch pull while yelling at the top of my lungs “Suck it SON!  I bought this here regalia for a third of what you paid.  Shut yo’ FACE!”  Still haven’t decided, too much maybe?

Oy.  The bad part about graduation is it’s elevated level of importance.  I don’t like the attention a graduation ceremony entails.  I am not an attention whore. I  don’t get turned on or revved up by people fawning over me or my accomplishments, droning on and on, asking question after question, giving me gifts I didn’t want or ask for… I don’t need any of that.  I need Kevin and Avelyn to be there.  That’s pretty much it although I would like for our parents and my grandparents and my brother or sister if they wanted to come.  (That’s right Stephanie, because I have been too busy to call or write but since I know you read this blog even though you NEVER COMMENT YOU BAD BLOG READER! You should know you are invited to come if you want to.)  We’re planning on early dinner, graduation and HOME since Hobo needs her beauty rest.

And that’s it, just those people mentioned above.  Nobody else.  Nobody.  I wonder if that’s too subtle.  And no I will not remove this statement because if you will recall an earlier post from a mere two weeks ago (just two weeks!?) this is my blog and I can say whatever I want on my blog.  Even though out of respect for my husband and THE REST OF MY MARRIED LIFE I usually don’t.  See, I’m not even saying it now.  Anyway, if you will recall:

“…My therapist and friendapist both said the same thing – I should quit feeling guilty about my FEELINGS.  They’re MY feelings and it’s how I FEEL so I am allowed to FEEL this way dammit.”

Well, my FEELINGS are feeling like they don’t want anyone else to ruin MY day.  So I get to set the rules.  (Please stay tuned for the post-graduation post where I will proceed to angrily relive the inevitable breaking of these rules in order to keep family peace.  Because clearly my feelings do not matter much of the time.)

A very dramatic ANYWAY… Tonight I sit here thinking how freaking scared I am to graduate from nursing school with the implication I somehow know what to do to take care of people.  I mean I just spent two years in nursing school, shouldn’t I know more about how to nurse?!  (Hmm, note to Self: Look into whether being unable to successfully nurse your first born child is related to being unable to be a good nurse.  Kidding, Self.  Get a sense of humor already.)  Out of the 160 questions on the HESI I must have stared dumbfounded at 155 of them wondering in what universe I was supposed to have been taught this.  Whaaaaaa?  H-E-A-R-T?  What is a heart?  Do I have it?  Am I coming down with ‘heart’? IS THERE A CURE?  AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!  Oh wait, that heart?

I am leaving for San Antonio first thing after Community Hellth clinical tomorrow.  We are getting Avelyn’s first birthday pictures and our first family pictures on Saturday.  We’re just going to the cruddy ol’ portrait studio for now because we don’t have the money to get the kind of pictures I want but we will do it sometime this year.  Hopefully we will have good weather and can get out of the house and have a family day at the park or something.  That reminds me, I can’t wait for April 15th when our lease starts and we can start the slow move in.  Do you understand the significance of this move?  Do you?  It means a house, not an apartment that shares walls with noisy neighbors.  It means living together, just the three of us for the FIRST time in twenty one months.  It means walking around in our underwear if we want to, just because.  It means freedom, independence, the ability to raise my daughter without being questioned and lectured about every cough, sneeze, out of place hair follicle, no matter how well meaning it may be.  It means not having to watch Fox News, heck not having the TV on 56 hours a day, being able to wake up at 7:30am with my baby and spend time alone with her, just me and her.  Above all it means all the mistakes, decisions, sacrifices and prayers have been worth it and we can start being the family I want us to be.

Highlights/Lowlights

Whew.  This week has been a whirlwind.  I want to tell you about all the wild and crazy fun family things we did this week but we didn’t really do any of those.  We did have some regular fun family things we did a lot of.  Like playing on the floor, going out to eat, [window] shopping, me getting a job, making practice birthday cakes.  Oh yeah, I’ve been DEAD TO BLOGGING this week but ta da!

I GOT A JOB!

My interview on Monday went really well (clearly).  The Nurse Manager I interviewed with told me he had a few more candidates to talk to but that I sounded like I had all the qualities he was looking for and I really impressed him during the interview.  I was all, Uh duh Dude, but I bet you say that to all the interviewees and he was all, no way man, you totally rocked it so then I was like yeah, I know, I am FREAKING BAD ASS and he was like yeah, yeah you are.  Then he said HR would be contacting me in the coming weeks.  Exactly 3 hours and 21 minutes after I left the building HR called and told me the job was mine.  IN YO’ FACE all you other [alleged] interviewees!

So I’m supposed to wait for the head HR lady to call me on Monday with all the details.  I need to find out what the deadline to accept is, since I am still hoping to hear from a few more hospitals.  I would like to have a few offers and be able to choose the best one for me but honestly, all I wanted was ONE and I got it.  I think I would really love working in the Pedi ER and I would get to see a lot of stuff I might not see elsewhere.  I’m a little proud of myself so I’ll go ahead and say it,

GO ME!

We were supposed to go to the zoo with some friends on Wednesday but wouldn’t you know we got rained/winded/COLLLLLDED out.  What the hell Weather?  Every freaking year, huh?  Well at least you’re consistent.  The rest of our week went nice and slow and perfect but somehow it’s turned into Saturday and I don’t like it one bit.  Booooooo urns. 

Yesterday we took advantage of my cousin’s loaner house key and hung out at her place while she was out of town.  We needed to get out of the house.  Unfortunately it was 61 degrees inside since she was gone and we nearly froze our patooties off --- until we discovered the heart pounding, sweat inducing Holy Grail of my kind of video games AKA Guitar Hero.

Why had I never played this before?  Why am I always the last to come around and finally try something everyone else has been raving about and playing for years?  Sweet Mary’s Little Lamb that game is fun and might I most humbly say

I. AM. AWESOME. AT. IT.

No, really I am.  I kicked Weezer’s “My Name Is Jonas” ass and have a burning desire to play this game continuously until I hold top rank on every song on the playlist.  Granted we started on Easy level but if memory serves I did outplay Kevin pretty consistently.  He did better on a few songs but I think I totally rule overall.  (Dear Hubby, I so rarely win at anything please let me continue to believe this even if it is a totally false memory.  Thank you.)

A few of you on Facebook have already let me know that Rock Band should be played next and bought soon and very soon because, uh, it rocks.  I am looking forward to it.

Since I’ve been MIA for a while and I like to believe a few of you obsessively check the site bi-hourly for updates I thought I would pay you back with a Super Hobo fix and provide a teeniny glimpse of our week.

  

 

55 days to Momma’s graduation! 

(HOLY FREAKING COW!)

The plague sleepeth upstairs

Two sick people are currently sleeping in their respective beds upstairs.  I am supposed to be packing up the apartment for our big “move into storage” extravaganza tomorrow.  Alas, I sit here in my white t-shirt and pink wet-hair towel writing because you know what?  I’m tired of packing and I boycott until tomorrow morning.

Hobo Baby has been sick since Wednesday suffering from her first bout of fluid imbalance (AKA vomiting and diarrhea-ing all day).  Close to half the kids at school including three in her class were out with the same bug.  Four weeks in and the Bubonic Plague Academy of the World (daycare) has kicked my kid to the curb three times.  A cold, an ear infection and the heaves.  

Speaking of ear infections, after sleeping all day Thursday and barely eating anything she ran a 103.5 temp so Kevin and I took Hobo to the doctor when they got to Houston.  Guess what she has?  Duh da da daaaa, another ear infection.  This is two times in the left and once on the right.  Three since December.  I can almost hear those tubes a-comin’.

Since I have packed up most of the house and eaten everything worth eating in the pantry Kevin stopped at Luby’s to pick up some dinner.  I had my usual, LuAnn with fried fish, green beans and mashed potatoes.  He had the chicken pot pie.  The man loves him some CPP.

I ran Avelyn a bath which finally made her remember who I was and we bonded a little.  Oh, did I forget to mention that my ten month old(!) daughter has decided that she loves Kevin like she used to love me and vice versa?  Well she has, little turncoat.  I hobbled around for weeks after her gorgeous body came ripping out of my hoo hoo and this is how she repays me?  By pretending that this temporary shift in home base somehow means Daddy is her savior?  Oi.  I thought this wasn’t supposed to come for a few more years.  Or months at least. 

After she hit the hay we ordered the moving truck, reserved the storage space and got to packing up the rest of the random crap laying around our house.  Where does all this stuff come from?  Why do we own it?  I don’t use this stuff but I can usually find one reason not to throw it away. That being said, in the future please refrain from sending anymore crap my way.

As the night dragged on Kevin kept making reference to his sick stomach, worrying that that his Seinfeld-esque vomit streak was soon to meet it’s end.  Eventually I told him to go take a “not hot” shower and go to bed.  I hate packing all by myself but what I would hate worse is vomit in my open box of barware.

Just when I decided to call it quits for the night I heard the thunderous stomp of a man running for the bathroom.  Damn.  Good thing he took that bucket with him to bed.  Being a good nursey-wife I sprang into action and bounded upstairs, only to veer off into Avelyn’s room to check on her until the worst of the gut wrenching heaves had stopped.  Hey, I can handle all kinds of gooey goodness but there is no reason to stand above a man hurling the entire contents of his bowels into a toilet.  He ain’t got no hair to hold back.  I did take care of him after that and now he is sleeping peacefully.  Hopefully he didn’t get Avelyn’s bug and just caught the death from the Luby’s.

Damn chicken pot pie.  

Poking them with needles wasn’t that bad

Friday
My first day working one-on-one with my preceptor on the Labor and Delivery unit.  It. Was. Awesome. I wished and hoped and prayed my preceptor would be nice and she is.  I hoped and prayed and wished I would get to see some births and practice some skills, and I did!  I prayed, wished and hoped I wouldn’t feel like a total nincompoop idiot and I didn’t… well maybe once or twice I did.  I’ll say it again in case you weren’t sure.  It. Was. AWESOME.

Birthdays: 1 female
Skills: 1 FC placement, 1 FC d/c, 1 blood draw, IVPB’s, 1 SVE and everyone’s favorite… learning Leopold’s maneuvers
Best line of the day: “Breastfeeding women everywhere would kill to have your nipples!”

Monday
Worked in triage hoping to get some skills under my belt.  I did.  Had a great time with my preceptor, another nurse friend from school I didn’t know well before today and the nurse who delivered Avelyn!

Birthdays: no precipitous births in triage!
Skills: 3 IV’s (my 1st!), 2 blood draws, setting up and reading fetal monitor strips, got to see ferning and other random stuff
Best line of the day: “Just be really careful, you don’t want that to squirt all over you.”

That’s about all I have to write about tonight.  I am so tired from working all day, feeling guilty about not studying, freaking out about packing this whole place by myself by Friday (while having all day class Tuesday and Thursday) and missing Avelyn. 

I’m really, really, really, really tired tonight.

In a nutshell, L&D is awesome.  I love it.  I want to work here.  Forever and forever.  Did I mention I also love hospitals?  Always have, I’m a freak.  This is where I’m meant to be.

Also, if you are in Houston I might be willing to provide sustenance and libations in exchange for help packing this week and/or loading a moving truck on Friday.

73 days until

Momma’s graduation!

Stuff I like

Have you eaten at this place? You really should. It's da bomb. I highly recommend the Caprese or Caribbean Jerk Chicken. Mmmm.

Do you watch LOST? If you don't then we might not be friends. Go buy or rent the seasons from the beginning. I have Season 1 I'll even let you borrow if you're local and not too shady. And pass my background check. And take me out to eat. Or you could always watch this fantastic recap (watch this especially if you're a fan of the show-it gets awesome around 55 seconds in):

I ordered some of these for Avelyn a few weeks ago. Genius idea. Sad I didn't think of them first. Get your own here!

Anybody know where I can get my hands on one of these?

I'm going to make Avelyn this dress. Isn't it darling? I love, love, love Etsy. Found a few fab finds for a birthday dress but I'm not giving that up just yet. You'll have to lie in wait for another 2 months. (Can you believe she will be ONE YEAR OLD in two months? I can't.)

I loved being pregnant and I can't wait to have another baby. Although Avelyn is sooooo great I am just enjoying having her all to myself for a while. And by "all to myself" I mean she is 205 miles away 4 days a week living with her Daddy.

I really love Labor and Delivery. Although in school the closest I've come to actually delivering a baby is helping Noelle. And the kid's arm fell off somewhere inside the womb. It was a little disconcerting. Oh well, he went on to live a very happy life before having his butt shoved back on that preloaded metal spring.

Last but certainly not least, I really, really, really like Her. And that hairy dude she's chillin' with.

85 days to Momma's graduation!

Thoughts on the bail out

A Doctors Overview of The Financial Bail-Out Package

All the Allergists voted to scratch the whole deal.
Dermatologists advised everybody to not make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it, but the
Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted;
the Pathologists yelled, 'Over my dead body!'
while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'

The Psychiatrists thought the idea was madness.
The Radiologists could see right through it,
and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the
Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the
Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the
Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some assholes in Washington.

Thanks for sending this L! I think we all need a laugh this week.

Based on true events

I passed my pedi test today, a test I should have probably failed! If not for wonderful savior friend C I would have had scant to go on. She saved my butt. Now I only need a 58 on the final to pass the class with a 75 but since we all know how incredibly brilliant I secretly am I should be able to pass with a B. Here's hopin'.

In other news, I am officially tired of having pets. Is that awful to say? Oh well, it's my blog so I can say it. It's not that I really love them less now that I have a real baby, but I do love them differently. I want to spend so much time with Avelyn, and I'm so focused on her or keeping myself sane that I just tire of the animals very easily. I'm tired of Etta having to sleep on the bed because she'll pee and poop on the floor if left unattended. I'm tired of her jumping down at 3am every night and doing just that. I'm tired of stepping in pee, picking up poop on the stairs, timing when she eats so she can have her medicine on schedule, shoving the handful of pills down her throat 20 times until she swallows them, listening to her whine because the meds make her want to eat all damn day. Ugh. I know how awful this sounds. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's better and she's still my dog but man, having Avelyn really put it into perspective for me. Am I the only terrible pet owner out there? In the past I might have been insulted had someone uttered the words, "It's just a dog" but now... well, she's just a dog. I love her, she is sweet and she's mine and I'll be sad when she goes one day but do I tear up and have a panic attack thinking about my life without her? No. Am I the only woman who went from doting on a cute puppy and an evil cat to wishing they would go live with Kevin in San Antonio so I didn't have to constantly clean up after them, yell at them to get off the baby's blanket and not to lick her mouth? Honestly I just don't have the time. Not that I have a full plate or anything... it feels good to get that load off.

Today at school a few of us old married ladies (and one super cute soon to be married lady) sat around and had a grand time commiserating the stupidity of husbands. It was just what the doctor ordered. Sometimes I think we women just need to hear that we're not alone, that 99% of other wives are living with an oaf too. (Love you, Babe, remember that). Here is a rundown of the top list of complaints, in no particular order:

Dear Husband,

• You're not 4 and I ain't your Momma, so instead of throwing them on the floor for me to find, seethe about and eventually pick up while cursing your name, why don't you put your own dirty clothes in the basket when you take them off.
• The dishwasher is 6 inches away from the sink. That's where dirty dishes go.
• You know when I said, "okay I have to study so please don't distract me"? I MEANT IT! SHUT UP! Think of me studying as you watching football, only important.
• Yes, you are right. The floor will just get dirty again but it has to be cleaned and newsflash - I got the vacuum in black and the Swiffer in green so it's manly enough for you to use it. Also, when we have/since we have small ones it has to be cleaned every day because small ones roll/crawl/pick up everything on the floor so let's not give 'em anything to pick up.
• Uh, unless I sleepshave those little hairs all over the bathroom counter are yours and while we're at it is it too much to ask that you wipe the water off the counter so I don't get that sopping horizontal line across my crotch?
• I have been working for the last twelve hours at the hospital. I started before the sun came up and left after it went down. I only get a 30 minute lunch break and my sandwich was soggy from the fridge. My feet look like hooves. Did you seriously just ask me what we're having for dinner?
  
• Oh yeah and just so you know, at the end of the day when you start breathing down my neck and feeling me up and I say "I'm just really tired" it literally means "I'm (in no way JUST) really tired". It can also mean "I've been felt up by kids all day and need some 'nobody touch me' time" or "I recently pushed a baby out of there and now I don't know where anything is anymore" or it could mean "I'll sleep with you when you throw your own underwear in the wash, do the dishes, turn off the TV when I need you to, pick up and sweep the floor, wipe down all the counters and cook us dinner. All on your own. Without me asking or telling. Or congratulating you. I do it day in and day out without accolade so I know it's not an insane request.
  

I would just like to follow with this notice:

This is not MY list, it is a compilation. It is not about MY husband, it is about the husband collective. This post may pertain to you or someone you know but is in no way directed toward any specific person.

Ladies, care to comment? Or gentlemen, I believe in free speech and equality.

For the ladies who know who they are...

[JAR: Today in JAR Jennifer got a 100 on her pedi test. When the "100! You are AWESOME" popped up on the screen confetti and balloons fell from the ceiling and a mariachi band played. She was carried out on a chair, high in the air while the crowd sang "For she's a jolly good fella..." Afterward it was announced on loud speaker that OB was canceled for the rest of the semester and in it's place would be margarita happy hour every week from 1-4pm. As if that wasn't enough it would also be all you can eat guacamole and hot pretzels! And chocolate ice cream! And Laffy Taffy... oops I digress. After indulging herself Jennifer returned home to find Avelyn sitting in the middle of the floor reading Dostoevsky and demanding tea and crumpets. She smiled, closed the door and hugged her 96 pound baby.]

Yippee. Yawn. Yippeeeeee!

I got home too late tonight to see Avelyn, she was already sleeping.  Actually it sounds like she slept for most of the day.  Who is this kid?  On the plus side I FINISHED clinicals today.  Well, sort of.  We have a make up day in November thanks to Ike.  Also I have FIVE care plans to write this week since I haven't turned any in.  I know, I know.  

Anyway I'm tired and I'm going to bed now.  Yep, at 9:21pm.  I had a really good day at the hospital today.  I have loved my clinical group for the past 6 months, they are a great group of girls and we have a lot of fun.  Also I am pretty sure that women's health is my calling.  I love it.  I hope I get my preference of high risk OB/L&D or NICU next semester.

Right now I'm rocking in my grandma's rockin' glider and listening to an infomercial for what could be the best collection of classic oldie's I've ever heard.  If you're just sitting at home tomorrow thinking to yourself, "I really want to buy Jennifer a gift, she is so very deserving" you can make me illegal copies of this music.  Or you could just buy the whole set for a mere $149.95, it's totally your call.

(Yep, that's super fly LBJ behind us)

Duh

Sooooooooo....  Apparently wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' for that Learn While You Sleep! machine didn't pan out.  I'm feeling pretty bummed about that stupid test.  And when I use the word 'stupid' I am referring to the test-taker.  Ugh.

I should have done better.  I should have studied more.  Shoulda, woulda, coulda, I suck.  Kevin made me feel better about it when he put everything in perspective and he was right.  Hurricane Ike took us out of school and off schedule for over a week.  I started two 12-hour clinicals which take up 3-4 days when you factor in the prep work and typing up reports (which I still have yet to do).  Avelyn was sick and Kevin was out of town this weekend.  Aside from becoming a coffee and speed freak and never sleeping I don't know when I would have found the time to get it all done, it just wasn't feasible.  Thanks, hubby.  I vow to do better on the next one.

My mom is thinking of coming into town Monday through Wednesday which would be really helpful and serve two purposes: 1) I would get to study for my test next Wednesday without feeling 100% guilty about not being home (95% guilt would be a vast improvement) and 2) she would get to see Avelyn whom she hasn't seen since April.  I'm sure I will be a tired, stressed out wreck and Avelyn (queen of timing) will decide to throw a crying fit all week and the Franco-Swiss particle accelerator will finally work and the world will implode but hopefully it will all work out.  I want to do really well this semester but when it comes down to it, all I need to do is pass.  

Say it with me people, "Just pass the class.  Just pass the class.  (And hopefully retain a little) but just pass the class."

[JAR: Today in JAR Jennifer had a terrible nightmare that she was in nursing school and had done poorly on a test.  Luckily it was all a dream.  Even more lucky, no one remembers bad dreams in JAR so Jennifer and her baby slept in and when they awoke, a crisp Autumn breeze was blowing in the open window.  They spent the morning going for a walk in the park and having a grand conversation that went a little like this, "Oh Avelyn, isn't it a beautiful day outside?"  "Oy goy oh mo phlbb!"  "I know!  I am so happy we decided to sleep in too!  Aren't you glad we are independently wealthy so Momma doesn't have to work and we can spend all day together?"  "Ah! Ah! Ohhhhhh!"  followed by a big toothless grin and slobber smooch.]

Who says they're sweet?

My poor little baby is still sick with a cold. It's one of Those Mean Nasty Dirty Downright Disgusting But Invisible Germs (shoutout to my HP group!) and she is not having a fun time. She feels awful which makes me feel terrible that I can't do anything about it.

She is slowly getting used to the thicker formula since I added cereal to it this week. It definitely seems to help prevent reflux but towards the end of the day it seems inevitable. The doctor doubled her Rx for reflux meds on Monday and when I went to pick it up today the pharmacy told me that our insurance only covers 30 pills every 30 days so I couldn't get enough to fill a twice a day regimen. Although if I wanted to I could pay for the extra 30 pills out of pocket at a mere $162. If I haven't said it here before I'll say it now - I FREAKING HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES!?#$&!(>$@

It must be me with the problem. Clearly I must be crazy to think that our doctor knows better than the voice on the end of the phone who probably received a two week training course in how to look up codes and canned responses in a manual. I must be a complete idiot since I still refuse to accept that they have the legal right to supersede a doctor's orders on how to treat a living, breathing patient. Man, I must be a real a-hole. I think of all the children out there with real problems, not just a stinking cold and bad reflux, but real health crises that can't get their medication or the treatment they need because of some idiot in a suit that controls what they can and cannot receive. I think of little babies so tiny and sick and no one can figure out what the heck is wrong with them and everyone keeps giving their parents the run around because they don't know what else to do. Makes me red in the face, can you tell???

Sigh. Another reason to keep me going in nursing school. Every day that I am in clinical I see at least one thing that reminds me, okay this is why I'm here. It might be good or bad but I always leave with one lasting impression that helps me get through the next week of hell you people might call nursing school. Insiders know that it is actually the devil's playground where evilness lurks and your soul is slowly sucked away. You've really got to love it to do it so please don't waste your time if you really don't want to clean up blood, guts and poop for a living.

Okay it's not that bad. Close, but most days not that bad. For example, Tuesday I had my first OB clinical and it was amazing. Before I delve too deeply I should preface by saying I went into this knowing exactly what to expect. I mean, having birthed my own child I am clearly an expert. I witnessed Avelyn's birth from beginning to end. Felt every pain, every muscle, every cramp and then watched in the mirror, first in awe and then in horror, as that beautiful little baby came tearing out of my body like a pack of wild dogs was chasing her. I watched as Kevin changed from a funny, stoic holder of the left leg to a disgusted and scared little man who was staring intently at my face in a way that very clearly stated "I am begging you, please don't ask me to look down there again. Please, please, please for the love of God I don't want to see/smell/hear or feel what is happening to you. Please." I kept asking him but by that time I was high on Fentanyl and O2 so I was having an uproarious time pushing out that little body ruiner. (Drugs. Are. Good.)

Anyway, on to Tuesday. It was so cool. First thing upon arriving the nurse said Room X was "Complete, complete, complete. She is ready to have that baby." I was off. I stood outside the room reviewing the chart while her nurse finished admitting a woman in the room next door. Before I knew it I hear a very strained "Senorita, por favor." I walk in and here is a 4'11" woman doubled over beside the bed asking for help to el bano. My three years of high school Spanish allowed me to quickly and effectively respond, "Okay, um, hold on while I get the nurse" in perfect English.

I got the nurse who rushed in and in very good Spanish told her to get back on the bed and use a bedpan. She did get on the bed but never used the bedpan. First thing about labor to know is that when a woman starts telling you she has to go to the bathroom -- the baby is COMING OUT. I held some legs, watched some oozing and then plastered myself to the wall when the delivery team came rushing in. That kid was out within my first 30 minutes of the day.

The rest of the day just got better, in between the boredom of waiting of course. I got to scrub in and assist with a Cesarean, which will probably only seem super duper cool to other nursing students who understand how rare and awesome that is. After lunch it slowed down a bit and it looked like no one would be delivering before we left at 6:30. Oh ye of little faith. Second important thing to remember about L&D -- things change quickly.

All of a sudden the hall is flooded with nurses, doctors and two fellow students, one of which is getting her arm ripped off by a screaming patient on a stretcher. Everyone is yelling something different.

"¡Necesito a mi marido!"
"Get out of the way!"
"¡Necesito a mi marido!"
"Clear the room!"
"¡NECESITO A MI MARIDO!"

I jumped into gear, determined to do something of consequence. I start yelling at my friend "What's her husbands name? What is her name? Last name?" She is trying desperately to figure it out with even less Spanish than I have. We finally got enough to go on and I started running down the hall. When I finally spotted two guys standing in a doorway I shouted what I hoped was his name. After conveying to him with my shouting and running that he needed to HURRY UP BECAUSE HIS BABY WAS GOING TO COME OUT IN THE HALLWAY we ran into the room just in time for him to rush over by her side as the baby came flying out. Literally. The doctor almost dropped it in the goop bag but thankfully did not.

It was a very exciting end to a very fun day. I really think I may end up choosing L&D as my specialty. I had such a wonderful pregnancy and delivery experience (minus the recovery part) and I would love to be involved in that experience helping other women. The human body truly is a most amazing miracle.

Back to my baby girl, I tried giving her foods for the first time this week. We started with sweet potatoes. She looked SO DANG CUTE sitting up straight in her high chair and was really excited to be sitting eye level, by herself like we do. Here are a few photos of this first, may it brighten your day.

"I am so cute. Aren't I cute? My Momma says I'm cute so I must be cute."

"Uh, this was not at all what you described and I don't appreciate your trickery getting it into my mouth you vile woman." "Making sweet potatoes bubble spit is fuuuuuun!"

Next week, peas????

anx·i·e·ty

anx·i·e·ty [ang-zahy-i-tee], –noun
1. distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune: He felt anxiety about the possible loss of his job.
2. a state of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder.

Either I will not be posting as often or as in depth as I have been or I will be posting lots of freak outs in the coming weeks. School started last week. I had two quizzes, which I aced, and two math tests, which I didn't. You have to get a 100% to pass. Unfortunately the math tests are really, really, really important and if I don't pass the 3rd one on Wednesday I am dropped for the semester... which means I am out until next fall when these classes are offered again. Which would mean being away from Kevin for even longer!?! Or getting a job in the meantime and being away from Avelyn even more!?! Feeling like a total failure that let everyone down!?! Yes to all the above.

I'm sort of freaking out.

A lot.

A whole lot.

Like every 2 minutes.

I also have a massive information overloaded Pedi test on Wednesday that I am completely unprepared for and I have to spend most of tomorrow orienting to my OB clinical hospital. Then I have the D&S exam after the test. I should also mention the quiz in OB after THAT. I am so stressed about organizing my time that I'm wasting most of it. (I am not counting this blog as wasting, I am using my "break" to write it and excusing it away as cheap therapy.) I'm not the only student in this boat, this is a really hard semester of our nursing program, most say it's the hardest. If I had passed the D&S exam the first two times I think I wouldn't be as stressed. What good is studying for this stupid pedi test if I screw the D&S and get dropped anyway?

Breathe... letting it go for tonight and hitting the books again. What else can I do?

I miss my husband. I miss Avelyn and she's sleeping 30 feet away. I want to wake up tomorrow and be done with school.

[Jennifer's Alternate Reality: She is not studying. Or freaking out. She is brushing her teeth and crawling into bed where her beautiful baby daughter rolls over to nuzzle into her chest. Because in Jennifer's Alternate Reality (JAR) she would have been able to breastfeed so she wouldn't have to worry about washing the pile of bottles on the counter. Instead of studying for school tomorrow she is falling asleep to visions of playtime and walks in the park. She is holding her baby close, because in JAR she doesn't worry about the things she normally worries about and co-sleeps with her baby every night. As well as her husband since in JAR they live together in the same city in the same house and sleep in the same bed. Every night. JAR is like the Hidden Valley Ranch city but a little more ethereal and doesn't smell like salad.]

NANDA, my dear NANDA

It's really funny that I stumbled upon this after I recently posted my own (not nearly as funny) nursing diagnosis story. I had to repost it here. Only my nursing school buddies can fully appreciate what follows. I typed something into google looking up NANDA and this blog popped up. I'm not quite sure why I clicked on it, and this isn't the most recent post, but I laughed pretty hard. Too bad I can't take credit.

Copied from:
Mostly True Stories: Tales from nursing school, travel, labor and delivery, and the bathroom

Monday, November 20, 2006

"...as evidenced by: a story from nursing school"

Nursing diagnoses crack me up. They are composed of some of the least economic writing ever to find its way into print. A nursing diagnosis is the “it was a dark and stormy night” of the clinical world. Take, for instance, this ND (short, of course, for nursing diagnosis): Imbalanced nutrition: more than body requirements. That means fat! Big fat patient! Fat because he ate too much! Now it might be more sensitive and descriptive to say overweight or obese, this I will admit. But, imbalanced nutrition: more than body requirements?

Nursing is a defensive, insular field. Nurses are particularly defensive of our position as professionals. And it is easy to see how that defensiveness came about. We are a profession dominated by women, often viewed by the public as assistants to doctors – and we do assist doctors at times! It is good and necessary that we continue to define ourselves as professionals. But these nursing diagnoses – they ARE funny. Too many words.

After writing care plans for three and a half semesters, I find that I sometimes switch into ND language without warning. I occasionally automatically communicate with nursing diagnoses or in a care plan format. On my way to a study session at J’s house recently, I realized that I was going to be quite late. I called her on my cell phone, “J, I’m at risk for study session tardiness related to not leaving the house on time as manifested by me not being there yet!”

“Oh no,” she said, “that puts me at risk for imbalanced nutrition: more than body requirements related to me eating all the cookies I made for the study group as evidenced by the cookies already being half gone!”

I replied, “that sounds like ineffective health maintenance to me.”

“No,” she countered, “you obviously have a knowledge deficit.”

“I’m in spiritual distress!”

“You are experiencing ineffective denial!”

It just degenerated from there.

-Posted by Working Girl at 2:32 PM

Diagnosis X

Pt: Jennifer M. Welch
DOB: 04/15/1981 ..
Sex: F .
Marital Status: Married .
Occupation: mother, wife, student, nurse, housekeeper, cook, dog walker, full time looney ..

Chief complaint: Pt c/o feeling "like my brain and soul are being slowly sucked out of my body".

Dx #1: Disturbed Sleep Pattern r/t waking at night to care for infant, staying up late studying, fear of failing D&S exam AEB verbal complaints of less than adequate sleep, awakening earlier than desired, interrupted sleep, puffy under eyes, irritability, yearning for naps, yawning, altered facial expression (e.g. blank look, fatigued appearance, ugly scowl).

Dx #2: Chronic confusion r/t oversaturation of educational information AEB altered interpretation/response to stimuli, progressive cognitive impairment, no change in level of consciousness, impaired memory (short-term and long-term), altered personality (sometimes referred to as bitchy).

Dx #3: Role strain r/t difficulty being in multiple places at once AEB unpredictable school schedule, knowledge deficit regarding studies, personal and social life is disrupted by educational demands, multiple competing roles, time and freedom is restricted because of studying, past history of poor relationship between pt and textbooks, social isolation r/t studying, no respite from educational demands, expresses negative feelings about being surrounded by dumbasses.

Key:
pt = patient
c/o = complains of
dx = diagnosis
r/t = related to
AEB = as evidenced by
D&S = dosage and solutions