Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Um, uh, ugggggh

Soooooooo... I started back to school yesterday. I'm already behind. Please, please, please pray for my soul. Pray for my sanity. Pray that I somehow find the energy, the time and the strength to do what needs to be done to pass this semester. I'm really worried and starting to stress, a feeling I loathe and have done without for enough weeks to know I enjoy life much more without it.

Here is my typical week, every week, from now until December 19th:
(7am to 7pm) - Pedi clinical
(8pm +) - sleep... but probably study first
Pro: I'm at Texas Children's Hospital, one of the best in the country.
Con: Avelyn will be asleep when I leave and asleep when I get home. :(

(7am to 8pm) - take care of Avelyn; send Kevin back to San Antonio; take Avelyn to my grandparents so we can spend the night and they can watch her on Tuesday
(8pm to ??am) shower/eat/study
Pro: Spending time with my daughter.
Con: Kevin leaves; having to spend the night away from home; prepping for clinical; exhaustion at the end of the day when I need to study and retain information.

(7am to 7pm) - OB clinical
(8pm to ??am) - studying for pedi AND OB quiz and/or test for Wednesday
Pro: I'm excited about OB
Con: Avelyn will be asleep when I leave and asleep when I get home. :( ; having to spend the night away from home; being EXHAUSTED from clinical and having to study for two classes the next day

(7am) - drive home to meet sitter
(9am to 4pm) - OB & Pedi classes
(4pm to 8pm) - take care of Avelyn
(8pm to ??am) - shower/eat/study
Pro: Still thinking...
Con: Rush to get home in the morning; all day in class without Avelyn; having a quiz and/or test EVERY WEEK in both classes

(all day) - at home, finally
Pro: spending time with my Little Lady; Kevin gets here in the evening
Con: worrying about all the work I have left to do that needs to be done, didn't get done or is stealing my thoughts away from baby girl; doing that work after she goes to bed

(all day) - library/home
Pro: Kevin is in town
Con: going to the library to study for half the day when I'd rather be at home

(all day) - library/hospital/home
Pro: Kevin is in town
Con: prepping for clinical on Sunday; studying

So, I know it could be a lot worse. An arm could fall off or a spider could bite my nose or something that is an actual problem could possibly occur but I am feeling rather whiny. And stressed. And worried. And [insert your own synonym here]. I feel entitled every now and then. Especially at this very moment when I just realized what the heck I've gotten myself into...

I'm in nursing school, my fourth of five semesters of nursing classes.

With a baby.

And my husband lives in another city.

I can do this, right?

(PS - Thanks to everyone for the great comments and encouragement regarding the previous post. It's nice to know that a) people care, b) people read this and I'm not just writing for me, myself and I and c) I have really great friends, both online and off.)


  1. Wow! You are totally in my prayers. I have no doubt you can do it. Just take it one day at a time. Try to just do what you gotta do and don't let yourself dread the next day. (All of this from someone with a pretty cushy lifestyle, I know!)

  2. I KNOW that YOU can do it. Take a deep breath and put on some baby music or ocean music or whatever that relaxes you. I still have Beatles Instrumental that is lively, but not loud and it helps to study with it if you want them. I miss you SOOOOO much! Hang in there my princess! You are special and you are SMART... YOU CAN DO THIS! Think of it as a countdown... you are almost there!

    AMEN! Love, Mom aka SNE

  3. I am sending you extra srength, ability to study while eyes are closed, and extra mommy patience vibes! I am in school full time also and ugh! I hate leaving my lil girl to go study...boring. Yet, were earning a degree for ourselves and for them. Wishing you good luck this semester and WE had fun at our playgroup with the Welch ladies!

  4. Idea: Sing your study notes to Avelyn. You will be relaxed and she doesn't care if it is Man in Moon or Ob/Gyn Terms. Sing it to your soul and consider it brain food! HA ha!


  5. OK...I'm tired after reading that. It will be so worth it though :)

  6. HAHAHA so true!!! Love it! Here are a few more for you:


    10.Fluid volume deficit r/t dehydrating effects of caffeine.
    9.Impaired social interactions r/t inappropriate topics of conversations associated with discussions of bodily functions.
    8.Anxiety r/t time constraints, threatened loss of social activities and anticipated constant clinical quizzing and critical thinking.
    7.Functional constipation r/t lack of time to go to the bathroom associated with moving at the speed of light and still not getting everything done.
    6.Activity Deficit r/t decreased monetary supplementation, secondary to Nursing School
    AEB c/o little to no social life
    5.Ineffective breathing pattern r/t anxiety attacks before exams.
    4.Risk for self-injury r/t excessive carrying of 2,000 lb textbooks.
    3.Sleep pattern disturbance r/t waking up at 4am for clinicals, after working on care plans until 2 am.
    2. Altered thought process: caffeine induced psychosis r/t increased coffee consumption
    1.Self-care deficit r/t being a UT - Houston Nursing Student.


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