Thursday, April 2, 2009

What I live with

Kevin: Etta, I’m going to judo chop your face.  And when they ask why I’ll say ‘Because your mom – is craaaazy.’

Kevin: She made fun of my Flash check today. 
Me: Who, the realtor lady?
Kevin: Yeah, I asked if she got my check and she said, “Oh yeah, Flash”.  And I was thinking what the hell is she talking about?  And then I was like “Ohhhhhhh right, the Flash checks.”
(Well, you have comic book character checks and you’re almost 32 years old.)

Kevin: I joined the St Mary’s Mobile Learning task force.  I’m part of the task force for the next 2 months.  I sent [some guy] an email and told him I feel like a member of the A-team.  [Some guy] wrote back and said “Yeah, but the A-Team never got hurt.

Kevin: [singing] The bitch went nuts… stabbed my basketball…

Me: Will you rub my feet?
Kevin: [no response]

Me: Will you rub my feet?
Kevin: [no response]

Me: Will you rub my feet?
Kevin: [no response]

Me: Will you rub my feet?
Kevin: If you stop asking.  If you continue to ask I will punch you in the face.
Me: Whateva! It’s my sexy body, I’ll do what I want!

Me: I’m sick for the first time since before Avelyn was born. I’m probably dying.  I can’t stop sneezing.
Kevin: You’ve been sick since Avelyn.
Me: Not like this, not where I’m going to die.

Kevin: This is going to be a very quick footrub.
[100 seconds of foot mashing and mangling]
Me: Thanks hero-man.

Me watching movie trailers: Sunshine Cleaning looks good.
Kevin: It got bad reviews.
Me: That’s sad, it looks good.  And Orphan looks like The Good Son with girls.  I want to see it.
Kevin: You should watch Drag Me to Hell.  It’s got gypsies in it.  Never fuck with gypsies. It’s also got Justin Long in it.  I hope that PC guy is in it too.  I think all Justin Long movies should have PC as the bad guy.
Me: This looks scary Kevin! Why did you make me watch this!
Kevin: It’s just Sam Raimi, it’s okay. 
Me: No! It’s scary and I’m about to go to bed!
Kevin: Don’t worry.  It’s just PC.
Me after finishing the trailer: Okay, maybe it doesn’t look that scary.

All of this went down in the last 20 minutes.  Man I’m glad to be “home”.

8 comments:

  1. Flash checks.....lol! At least he's secure in his manhood.

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  2. Judo chop, huh? Probably gets that from his comics...LOL.

    It's the simple crazy moments like this that make you realize how good life really is.

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  3. Kevin has comic book characters on his checks? Bah!!

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  4. Dustin would have comic book checks too if I let him. This was too funny!

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  5. There's also Batman, Superman and Aquaman. Two things should be noted about my checks. One: I've only ever read a Batman graphic novel out of the four in my check collection, so in hindsight it's a bit strange that I even wanted them. Two: In the previous 4 years I think I had only written 2 or 3 checks that weren't made out Jennifer, so I never really anticipated the full extent of how the dissemination of the colorful and somewhat childish designs might effect my life now that I've written about 20 in the last 3 months.

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  6. Oh goodness- this post had me laughing out loud. I love the convos between you and your husband! haha.

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  7. Ben Folds! And, sadly, Sunshine Cleaning is pretty terrible.

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