Thursday, April 2, 2009

What I live with

Kevin: Etta, I’m going to judo chop your face.  And when they ask why I’ll say ‘Because your mom – is craaaazy.’

Kevin: She made fun of my Flash check today. 
Me: Who, the realtor lady?
Kevin: Yeah, I asked if she got my check and she said, “Oh yeah, Flash”.  And I was thinking what the hell is she talking about?  And then I was like “Ohhhhhhh right, the Flash checks.”
(Well, you have comic book character checks and you’re almost 32 years old.)

Kevin: I joined the St Mary’s Mobile Learning task force.  I’m part of the task force for the next 2 months.  I sent [some guy] an email and told him I feel like a member of the A-team.  [Some guy] wrote back and said “Yeah, but the A-Team never got hurt.

Kevin: [singing] The bitch went nuts… stabbed my basketball…

Me: Will you rub my feet?
Kevin: [no response]

Me: Will you rub my feet?
Kevin: [no response]

Me: Will you rub my feet?
Kevin: [no response]

Me: Will you rub my feet?
Kevin: If you stop asking.  If you continue to ask I will punch you in the face.
Me: Whateva! It’s my sexy body, I’ll do what I want!

Me: I’m sick for the first time since before Avelyn was born. I’m probably dying.  I can’t stop sneezing.
Kevin: You’ve been sick since Avelyn.
Me: Not like this, not where I’m going to die.

Kevin: This is going to be a very quick footrub.
[100 seconds of foot mashing and mangling]
Me: Thanks hero-man.

Me watching movie trailers: Sunshine Cleaning looks good.
Kevin: It got bad reviews.
Me: That’s sad, it looks good.  And Orphan looks like The Good Son with girls.  I want to see it.
Kevin: You should watch Drag Me to Hell.  It’s got gypsies in it.  Never fuck with gypsies. It’s also got Justin Long in it.  I hope that PC guy is in it too.  I think all Justin Long movies should have PC as the bad guy.
Me: This looks scary Kevin! Why did you make me watch this!
Kevin: It’s just Sam Raimi, it’s okay. 
Me: No! It’s scary and I’m about to go to bed!
Kevin: Don’t worry.  It’s just PC.
Me after finishing the trailer: Okay, maybe it doesn’t look that scary.

All of this went down in the last 20 minutes.  Man I’m glad to be “home”.


  1. Flash! At least he's secure in his manhood.

  2. Judo chop, huh? Probably gets that from his comics...LOL.

    It's the simple crazy moments like this that make you realize how good life really is.

  3. Kevin has comic book characters on his checks? Bah!!

  4. Dustin would have comic book checks too if I let him. This was too funny!

  5. There's also Batman, Superman and Aquaman. Two things should be noted about my checks. One: I've only ever read a Batman graphic novel out of the four in my check collection, so in hindsight it's a bit strange that I even wanted them. Two: In the previous 4 years I think I had only written 2 or 3 checks that weren't made out Jennifer, so I never really anticipated the full extent of how the dissemination of the colorful and somewhat childish designs might effect my life now that I've written about 20 in the last 3 months.

  6. Oh goodness- this post had me laughing out loud. I love the convos between you and your husband! haha.

  7. Ben Folds! And, sadly, Sunshine Cleaning is pretty terrible.


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