Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The world is full of 'em

Before I begin let me just say that any of you who knew me before the baby would be (a little) surprised at my new pleasant demeanor. I am much more calm and friendly now.  Drugs will do that for you.

It was a little after seven and Avelyn had just fallen asleep.  I was on the phone with a friend talking excitedly about our baby's first Halloween's (stay tuned for pictures!) when there was a knock on the door.  Naturally our fearless protector, Etta, started letting them know she meant business.  Since Etta was barking and I was on the phone I figured if it was an axe murderer they probably wouldn't try to kill me.  Too many people would hear.  (We don't have a peephole...sigh...long story.)

So I opened the door and recognized the guy as my next door neighbor who has owned the adjoining condo for a year but has never lived there.  Over the last few months he has irritated me to no end by renovating the place between 4pm and 11pm.  That's right.  On more than one occasion Kevin or I very nicely-politely-jovially knocked on his door and asked that they keep the noise down because I had a newborn inside that couldn't sleep with all the racket.  The first time they pretended not to hear the knock on the door.  That should tell you something.

The last time I heard anything out of them was a few weeks ago.  They were working around 9:30pm out on the patio doing something that apparently required banging the door against the fence over and over and over and over and.... I hated them but I was polite EVERY time I asked them to please keep the noise down or stop for the night.  I mean come on, you do not renovate a home at night.  Especially when it's a humble abode and not a freestanding house.  An abode of which shares walls with other people's abodes.

Back to tonight, I opened the door to find this guy.  He looks alright.  The dog is barking.  I'm on the phone, asking my friend to hang on.  

"Do you have a minute?" he asked, and said some other stuff I couldn't hear over the barking.

"Not really," I said (again - POLITELY), "I have a baby upstairs I'm trying to get to sleep."  Weird pause.  "Why?"

"Oh, well, I was going to give you a courtesy call but you're being very rude so..."

Excuse me?!?  I'M being rude?  You are a douchebag that woke my NEWBORN baby up more than once this summer.  You are an a$*h07e that knocked on MY door interrupting MY evening in MY home and are making me deal with my stupid barking dog and I AM BEING RUDE???  

I was stunned.  Luckily his wife had just walked around the corner and made a loud "Shshshshsh" sound and jumped in and started talking.  Which was good because I'm not sure how I would have reacted.  Part of me wanted to slam the door in his stupid little face.  Another part wanted to say what I wrote above and another part (the old Jennifer) probably wanted to stand there like an idiot and then come up with something biting and clever to say 3 days too late.  

Turns out they are having some sort of meeting tomorrow at their home from 7-8pm and wanted to give me a "courtesy call" since they knew I had a baby.  Isn't that nice?  Why did he have to be such an ass about it?  I was very grateful to know about this in advance, and it was courteous of them to give me a heads up.  It's not like I run the complex just because I have a sleeping baby.  

My friend suggested I go over tomorrow or when I see them next and thank them for letting me know ahead of time.  Keeping peace with your neighbors and all.  She's probably right.  I've never cared about keeping peace with any neighbor but this will be good practice.  I shall rise above my idiot neighbor and thank them the next time I see them.  Kill 'em with kindness, right? 

Oh - the kicker was after the wife smoothed things over and they were about to leave the guy says "You're renting here, right?"  Yes, dumbass.  Why should that make a difference?  Maybe he knows my landlord.  Maybe he IS my landlord!  GASP!#$*&%


  1. Well, I can't believe the neighbor was saying you were being rude. Ugh. Definitely kill him with kindness.

    I will see you on Saturday. I will be looking for the most-beautiful-baby-ever of course! And I could have gotten you a pretty blue shirt today! I had some extra cash (for once).

  2. What a jackass! Wow, what if he really is your landlord??? LOL!

  3. Oooh! What a jerk! Here's my translation of it: "Hi, I'm that self entitled Ahole who thinks it's okay to bother you with construction late at night because that's when it's most convenient for me. I'm so self absorbed that I didn't even want to tell you about people coming over but clearly my wife forced me to attempt civility...and I failed but I'm gonna blame you for it. Now I am going to make a little renter comment to you to make you feel less entitled to your quality of living than me so that next time I bother you, hopefully you will be reminded that you are supposed to put up with is as a renter vs me being an owner. I hope you fall for it."

  4. You should move to Brazil. They have strict rules about when you can and can not do renovations in an apartment/condo. There is even a 2 hour break at mid-day so people who go home for lunch can do so in peace.

    I doubt he is your landlord. I bet he wanted to know if you are a renter because that means you aren't going to live there forever. He means to wait you out.

    I'm sorry that you are having a hard time with this guy. At least his wife can shut him up! We recently were at some friends who wanted to talk with their neighbors about something stupid that was done and it blew up into a huge mess - with us there. Neighbors can be awesome and they can be your worse enemy. Good luck.


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