Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A Freaks' List

About 16 times a day (in between the fantastic-ness of realizing "I'm having a baby!") I have a freak out and come to the conclusion that this year will in fact, kill me. The following is my updated list of reasons why you should plan to send me Christmas cards at the House O' Fruits this year:

1) Kevin works in another city and I only get to see him every two weeks.
2) I'm pregnant... and Kevin lives in another city so I only get to see him every two weeks.
3) It's 8 days into Spring semester of nursing school and I feel like I'm 15 days behind.
4) In exactly two weeks I will be going to clinical twice a week for 9 hours a day starting bright and early at 5:30 WHICH MEANS in exactly two weeks I will be waking up before 5AM. This fills me with so much less than joy.
5) The baby is due May 7th. My last day and first day of school during this time is May 2nd/May 19th. That means I have 16 days between spring and summer semester to have this baby and "enjoy my vacation". What? Who are you and why do you think it's funny to make these jokes! (And no, it's not an option to take the summer off so don't be an idiot and ask... do you really think I hadn't looked into that already?)
6) Kevin is leaving for 7 weeks in June because he's cool and powerful to teach young minds all about film making... in Chicago... while I'm stuck in stinky old Houston taking care of Psych patients in mid-July. Do you know what's worse than crazy people? Crazy people in mid-July who've been out in the hot, sweaty Houston sun!
7) Last but not least, somewhere between now and August (with all my spare time), I have to buy the baby a whole lot of stuff, without a whole lot of money (I'm a hobo), find someone that isn't crazy, or that drives me crazy, to watch the baby after Kevin leaves, find another place to live that actually has room for the baby (that freeloader!), and then pack up this place and move myself two weeks before finals.

Okay... freak out is subsiding. I'm back to being completely in love with this child whom I've never met. That's the one good thing about this whole situation. I think if I wasn't pregnant, it would be so much more stressful. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. As much as I have on my plate, and as much as this baby added to that plate, it's something absolutely wonderful to look forward to! The baby is going to cost a lot of money? What doesn't these days! I'm not going to get to sleep - EVER AGAIN - between baby/study/hospital time? What else is new! I'm starting to gain weight at a rate Rosie O'Donnell would make fun of? Well!... okay, that one I'm not so gung ho about but I am starving these days. Food is good, and a pint of chocolate ice cream to chase the stress monkey away is sometimes the only thing to hit the spot.

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