Goodbye.

It was six hundred and twelve days ago today,
I jumped on this blog thing to play
I’ve been going in and out of style
But hopefully guaranteed to raise a smile.

It's been wonderful to be here,
It's certainly a thrill.
You've been such a lovely audience,
We'd like to take you home with us,
We'd love to take you home.

I don't really want to stop the show,
But I thought that you might like to know,
That the blogger’s going to quit this blog,
And she wants you all to come along.

So let me introduce to you
The one and only HoboBaby blog
And our brand new website,

hobobaby.com

Those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer [in Chicago]

This pretty much sums up our trip to Chicago: Beautiful walks along the lake, running in the gardens at Northwestern, dancing to music in the dorm, the wind blowing through our hair and lots and lots of food and fun with good friends.  Last year I came back with about 500 photos.  This year I only have 230 and 3 videos.  All the good photos (only about 90) are on Flickr so feel free to check them out if you can’t stomach all five minute of this video (And why can’t you?? It’s five minutes of Avelyn’s new favorite song and adorable cuteness.) or if the rapid fire progression of pictures doesn’t mesh well with your computer.

 

I might get around to writing an actual post one of these days but I work tonight and sleep half the day tomorrow.  Somehow I just can’t bring myself to spend time on the computer blogging when I have such a beautiful girl running around filling my house with laughter.  Hope you’re all having a great day.

 

11 daus until Kevin comes home!

Make your Zaky work for you

“Zaky – It’s Like Leaving a Part of You with Your Baby”

Um, suuuuure.  A ridiculously, ridiculously CREEPY HANDS part of you.  I’m sorry I can’t be here right now baby but don’t you worry, I’m going to LEAVE THESE FAKE HANDS here.  You’re safe with MY FAKE HANDS.  FAKE HANDS!  FAKE HANDS!  FAKE HANDS!

Well, too bad they don’t make these for grown women whose husbands are away.  I mean that would be okay, right? 

“… It is also fantastic to give older children when you go away for days or when they must remain hospitalized and you cannot be there with him/her.”

I ought to get me some Zaky and teach them to hold Etta James at night when she sleeps.  Maybe she won’t be such a whiny ass with FAKE HANDS to love her, eh?

It’s hard, but the paycheck is a nice perk

This is my 322nd post. That doesn't mean much but I thought I'd tell you since it's news to me.  If you look at the number of posts from last year you would think this number should be much higher.  I can't pinpoint exactly what's been going on that has made my posting wane.  I used to think about all kinds of blog posts to write and sometimes had a hard time narrowing down what to say which often resulted in insanely long posts that I bet no one could finish reading.  You all probably skipped the words and went straight to the pictures didn't you?  Don't lie.  I do the same thing.

I'm in a really weird place right now I guess.  School is over.  That’s weird.  Work has begun.  Weird.  I am now thought competent to practice nursing and people look at and talk to me in the hospital like I know all the answers and will be able to work wonders on their kid.  Uber weird.  News flash: I do not have all the answers.  Most nights, er mornings, I drive home thinking about you and your kids and how I wish I would have remembered to say just one more thing that might have been helpful to you.  In the middle of thinking about what I forgot to do for you and your kid I try to focus on the image of my perfectly healthy, roly poly, ball of wonder waiting for me to walk through the door.  I think about those things and about NOT falling asleep at the wheel and also please-for-the-love-of-God-do-I-really-have-to-go-back-to-work-tonight-say-it-ain’t-so.

Anyway.  I think the biggest reason I haven’t been posting is because – here comes the honest truth – I am totally, completely, 100% overwhelmed.  Ta da!  Not in the “I need help before I have a mental breakdown” kind of overwhelmed, just

OVER
(freaking)
whelmed

at the sheer amount of things I have to keep track of these days.  I’ll tell you what folks -- Working is hard.  Being a real nurse is hard.  Being a real working-mom nurse working 12-hour night shifts and having 12-hour class days in the daytime whose husband is away for the summer is really freaking hard.  I’ve already been reamed out because I forgot to do some online evaluations for the Nurse Residency Program.  Oops.  I’ve also filled out my first Medication Error report.  (Shits and giggles!?!) Oops.  Also, truth be told -- I don’t love it as much as I thought I would.  I don’t know if it’s because everything is new and I’m out of my element or if this unit just isn’t the right fit for me or because Kevin is gone and I stress every minute about who will take care of Avelyn and how some of them just will NOT do it right no matter what I say… not that I think about that A LOT or anything.  I’m just not sure.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate it.  When I’m there I work really hard, try to absorb anything and everything I can, practice new skills every night and I enjoy my job.  I just don’t love it and I thought, or at least hoped that, I would.  Naive I guess but still, is it too much to ask? 

I keep telling everyone I’m not totally surprised I feel this way because it’s the ER.  The pediatric ER.  Does anyone really wake up in the morning thinking, “Say! I’d like to go to work tonight and stick IV’s and catheters into every little kid and tiny baby that walks in tonight!”  Well I don’t, but that’s a lot of what I do when I go there.  Argh.  Also, I had an abuse case each of the last two nights I worked.  One was a definite, no doubt in anyone’s mind abuse case and the other was suspected.  Either way it takes up your whole night and the cops come and CPS and it’s just miserable.  Those are really hard.  Those make your stomach churn and your mind race and your heart sink into the floor.  Those and the cancer kids.  How I ever thought I might want to do Pediatric Oncology is beyond me.  When those kids pop up on the intake screen I scan really fast hoping they are NOT in my room.  It’s too much.  It’s too sad.  Kids shouldn’t get cancer, especially little kids, especially especially babies.  It’s not right and I hate hate hate it.

Man, I didn’t intend for this to be such a downer post so I hope you read it carefully and don’t think I’m freaking out having a midlife crisis or anything.  This is just all new, and I have to get the hang of it.  Also, like I said, IT’S REALLY FREAKING HARD.  New jobs are never easy and it doesn’t help that I have been sick with a virus for the last three weeks and everyone in my Nurse Residency group treated me like I had the plague so now I have no friends.  Whatev.  I need some working mom friends.  Why do you all live in OTHER STATES?  What’s so great about your state?  I’d say move here but I can’t wait to move away from here.  Anyway, read this with caution.  I keep wanting this blog to be the outlet I want it to be, where I can write about the actual goings on in my life with my stellar and world renowned sarcasm without a bandwagon of friends and family going ape shit crazy.  But then I write something and someone, somewhere, goes ape shit crazy and I back off again.  Gah!  It’s 10:32pm and the Hobo slept terribly in Chicago so I am going to take advantage of my night and try to be in bed by midnight so I get at least 6 hours sleep. 

Since I’m back in Texas I’ll end with ‘Night folks! Y’all come back now, ya here! because in Texas we all ride horses to work and sleep outside and end our conversations like that.  So, ‘night!

(Coming soon… much more delightful post about our Fun Fab Fabulous few days in Chicago!  Need a teaser?)

Sheeeee's in Sheeeee-cago!

Not to rub it in to you Texans down there sweltering in the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad heat, but it was 79 degrees when I took this picture and if you can't tell from that face, we are having a fantastic time.

You know the drill.  Name this picture.

Not the big post I promised.

I think I swore in the last post, ONE WEEK AGO that I would be writing soon, and getting back on the blogging band wagon. I hate to ruin my rep for being an absolute Saint, but I am a known liar.

Working nights without a husband here is kicking my butt.  I am busy, or tired and thus slow moving, or sleeping, or soaking in the precious seconds I see Avelyn on working days.  I have one more night to work tonight (just 7pm-3am tonight, only 8 hours. YAY!) and then we fly out to Chicago to see this guy tomorrow night!

I am really excited, and I can't wait to see Avelyn's face when she sees him.  I'll try to post when I'm there.  Wish me luck on my plane ride with a one year old who doesn't sit still to read, doesn't watch tv and has ear problems.  This is going to be fuuuuuuuun.

Newness

So, you might have picked up on the fact that the blog got a facelift.  Oh you hadn’t noticed?  Well NOTICE already.  It’s FAB FAB FABULOUS!!!  I’m in love with the whole thing, especially my little Hobo. 

Marina over at Penny Lane Designs worked her miracle magic yet again.  I highly recommend her for any graphic or web design needs although if you want anything soon you may have to add your name to the waiting list because she is less than a month away from popping out what is sure to be a seriously cute baby boy.

The original plan was to ditch this blog on Blogger and move over to my own domain, which I have already purchased.  Unfortunately customizing the code at the new blog takes a little longer than customizing it in Blogger so for now we decided to do the update here until the new one is ready to go.  That way I can at least share it with you, and scavenge unapologetically for compliments and exciting reviews.

As soon as we’re up and running at the new site I will let you know.  Until then, keep coming back here.  I have been terrible at posting these days but I look forward to getting back.  There has been so much going on I don’t even know where to start.  Agh! 

Anyway, do you love the new look?  Do you??  Do you???  Because I SURE FREAKIN’ DO!  Thanks Marina!

Are you the circus freak?

UPDATE: Annalee won the circus tickets earlier today and emailed me right away to say “I’M SO EXCITED!” and also “But we can’t go after all. Boooooooooo.” Poor Annalee. Oh well, she has an excellent excuse and will have way more fun where she’s going. No worries, I did a second random number draw and the new winner is…

Laura Cress

Congratulations Laura! Don’t lose Donovan, they might think he’s part of the circus act and put him to work! :P I’ll email you the details.

Most of the actual circus acts have faded from my grown up memory. I can imagine the elephants marching around in their beautiful clothes, the lions jumping through fire, the motorcycle guys driving round and around the cage but those are fleeting images, I don’t feel much when I think about those. But when I think about glow stick necklaces I begged and begged for because oh my gosh, you can twirl them on your arm to make a beautiful bright neon swirl in the dark, don’t you see?? don’t you see??; bags of popcorn, covered in salt and dripping with butter; a big red Icee, still my favorite at the movies; how I longed to walk the tight rope and fly from the trapeze (although honestly I just wanted to swing off the trapeze and fall into the net. Does that not look like a good time?)… when I think of those things, those memories, I feel something. Just a little bit of something in my stomach, in my heart. Something that feels a little like joy. Childhood glee that we lose as we get older, when we move too fast and get so busy. Something I am feeling in a whole new way now that I’m on the other side and have a girl of my own. I wonder what her favorite thing at the circus will be. I wonder if she will laugh at the clowns or cry for them, the way I did (Clowns really bring me down.) I wonder if she will sit in my lap and share her big red Icee. Maybe next year we’ll get to find out.

Those ravioli-strawberry-suh-uh-merrrrr nights

Tell me what you think she’s saying here.

Silenced by shoes

I finally took it upon myself to clean out both cars and move Hobo’s car seat back to the Accord from the Pilot.  This was not, of course, out of respect for my weekly plan, my mile long to-do list or parental responsibility.  It is a direct response to the fact that I am butt-ass broke and while the Pilot is out of gas, the Honda has at least half a tank.  (Having two cars finally comes in [real] handy!)

The bulk of both cars’ contents fit neatly into a large Target® bag which was deposited directly into File 13.  The rest of the junk was a bunch of toys I keep around in a lame attempt that Avelyn will one day see them and say to herself, “By jolly, these toys are bloody maaaaaaarvelous!” and immediately stop screaming to play with them.  This has, thus far, yet to happen.

As is the norm with a once-a-millennium car clean out, I found one great item I had totally forgotten about.  Remember alllllll the way back to Avelyn’s new shoes?  The guy at the shoe store took her picture as a memento of Baby’s [1st] Pair of Shoes.  Granted these are not her first pair, but they were her first pair of real shoes, with rubber soles, laces and actual padding.  Plus it clearly captured her look of utter exhaustion at the whole shoe buying experience.  “Oh Mutha!” she cried channeling her best Scarlet O’Hara, “Tha shoes!  Tha sheer amount of beautiful shoes!  How’s a gurl to choose!?!” 

She was clearly stunned.  And, a shoe shopping natural.  Lord help us all.